Circa 2015 posts on abandoned tumblr
Part 1
People just don't keep promises anymore.
But even if they have a reason for not keeping the promise, they just let the promise go broken without an explanation.
Maybe it's my fault.
Maybe it's theirs.
I don't know.
Just let me know when you've woken up to your senses.
I'm done making myself clear.
I'll just take my share of the blame and make do with what I have now...
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I have this tendency to see things beyond what they are.
And for that reason, I tend to overlook what they already are.
When things get painful, my feet itch to run away, leading me away from the all too familiar pain I'm about to experience again.
But lately, things get so painful that it's weirdly comfortable to just accept them.
It's not because it's what I deserve, but it's because it's something I know I have to deal with for the rest of my life.
The pain is home and the darkness, a comfortable blanket.
And maybe, just because I am too familiar with everything painful, everything else that's comfortable and light is automatically doubted.
I want to laugh again and make it last longer than the cries I have at night. But all I can do is smile and make people feel they're special with the things I do and the talents I was given.
Somehow, I feel the burden ease out.
When it does, I just see clouds part and like a child, I caress the peace of the feeling the moment brings.
They rarely go by, these moments.
But with them, I live just a little bit more.
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