Abuse//S.M.

Chapter Three

L E X I

As we sit in class, my fingers tangled with shawn's, I tune out the teacher and just pretend I'm listening. I lean over to Shawn and lay my head on his shoulder, and I can feel him smile. After about ten more minutes, the class was still going on, and I haven't paid attention enough to know anything for today. I just like being close to Shawn, because he makes me forget about everything.

Even my to drunk of a father.

I lifted my head off his shoulder, and his hand unlocked from mine. I watched as he grabbed a pencil and a piece of notebook paper. He wrote something on it, then folded it in half, sliding it to me. I unfolded it, reading it.

What did that jerk do to you?

I just ignored it, not wanting to talk about it. He deserves to know the truth, but I still can't deal with it. At least not right now. But I would have to get it off my chest at some point. I slide the paper back to him, not replying, then he slides over to me again, and I read the new words.

Can you please tell me? I'm worried about you Lexi.

I just smile, not wanting to leave him without a response. I want to tell him, but I think It's better if I do it at lunch, where we won't be seen by teachers if he hugs me or anything. I hold onto my pencil, scribbling a reply, before sending it back to him.

I'm still overwhelmed about it. Do you think we could talk about it later? Maybe at lunch?

Once he reads, he replies, sliding it back to me again.

Yeah, anything for you. I'm sorry baby.

I smile, and look at him, mouthing the words, 'It's okay' and he smiles. When I hear the bell ring, Shawn and I go to our next three classes together before lunch.

--Skip three classes--

After the lunch bell rings, I and Shawn walk to the lunch room, hand in hand with his lunch box in his other hand. I wasn't terribly hungry, so I didn't want to eat. When we walk in, we sit down at our normal table, with nobody else. Sometimes people like to sit at our table, but we also like to sit alone. I sit down, not eating anything, and Shawn looks at me.

"Lexi?" He asks, and I turn my attention towards him. "Why aren't you eating?" 

"I'm not hungry," I say and he sighs. 

He knew that I didn't eat lunch often, but he always wanted me to eat something. Sometimes he would give me his bag of chips, or his water, but I still wouldn't eat it. When I was hungry, I would eat his chips, but that also wasn't often.

"Can you tell me now?" He asks, and I know what he's talking about.

"Yeah," I say, and he sets down his sandwich. "So I woke up this morning like every morning. After I got dressed and stuff, I attempted to make it downstairs without waking up my dad." I said, and he looked sad.

"What happened, Lexi?" He asked, and I sighed, feeling like crying, but I didn't.

"Well, The bottom step creaked like it always does, and he woke up. He started yelling at me, while still drinking his beer, and he threw his empty one from yesterday at me as well. He kept telling me how my mother's death was all my fault, that I didn't care about anyone, and that I would always run to you, just to cry and blame everything on him." I say, and Shawn takes it all in. 

"Did anything else happen?" He asked, and I debate on telling him about the constant death threats.

I didn't want to, but I had to now.

"Yeah," I sigh, taking in a deep breath, trying not to let tears fall. "I never told you this, but I should now. He has been threatening me that I would be dead if I ever told anyone about anything." I finished, and he looked like he was going to be the one to cry.

But he never cries in front of me. The only time he ever cried in front of me was when I was melting down, as softly as possible, and he just had to lay there and watch me break. That was the only time  I have ever seen him cry in front of me.

"I'm going to get you out of there." He promised again, and I got tired of this constant promise since it never happened, but I never lost hope. I knew I wouldn't live there anymore, and I knew that one day, Shawn would get me out of there.

He lets go of me, and I smile. I turn back around, looking into the cafeteria. I wanted out of that house, as much as I wanted in Shawn's house. The fact that I live in that fake of a home and live with my fake of a father, doesn't make any lick of sense to me. I look over at Shawn who was drinking his water, and I smile at him, earning a smile back. After the bell rings again, I and Shawn get up, walking back to class.

Once all classes are over, Shawn and I walk out to our vehicles.

"Do you want to come over to my house for dinner?" Shawn asks from beside of me.

"I don't know..." I trail, and I look at him, earning a frown.

"Are you sure? I know your dad, Lexi." He says, and I smile.

"I was kidding, of course, I'm coming," I say, earning a bright smile from him.

"Yes!" He says, and I smile.

"Shawn?" I ask him, an idea popping into my head.

"Yeah?" 

"Do you think I could pack a few clothes and sleep at your house tonight?" I ask him, and he looks at me worried.

"Lexi, I don't know. Your dad-" He says before I cut him off.

"I don't give a flying rat's ass what my dad does. I just don't want to be anywhere close to 60 feet from him." I say, and he smiles.

"So I'll see you later?" He asks me as we arrive at my car.

"Yes. Definitely. Pick me up?" I ask, and he leans in closer to me.

"Definitely. How about five thirty. Get your homework done, and I will pick you up." He says, kissing my lips softly and gently.

"Hey, I love you, Shawn," I say and he smiles, kissing me softly again.

"I love you too, Lexi. More than anyone else in this world." He says, kissing me gently three more times before hugging me, and leaving to ride home.

I get into my car, starting it, and driving home. I didn't know what my dad was intending to do once I got home, but I just wanted to slip past him. Hopefully, he was asleep. I could skip the stairs and get up to my room. Maybe he wouldn't hurt me this time like he has for the last five years.

Or maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up because inside, I felt that something worse than just the abuse was going to happen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello! Thanks again epitt12 for typing this. She is the one who posts these, I just give her the storylines. She is such an amazing writer, and you should check out her work.

Love for everyone! -- xoxo

-KM