Reflection *Alex Karev Love Story*

Who Would've Known?

In. Out. In. Out. 

I thought breathing was supposed to be easy? A simple body movement. Something you did without a second thought. 

So why did it feel like I had never taken a breath before in my life? I think this is what they call a panic attack. 

I was currently sitting in a supply closet, hoping that no one needed a fresh bedpan. Of course, nothing ever went my way. 

"Samantha? Are you okay? Why are you crying?" Izzie Stevens asked, noticing me immediately upon entering the room. To be honest, I hadn't tried to hide; I just wanted to get away from him. Mark Sloan. Needless to say; I wasn't over him. How could I be though? He was my first love, first kiss. Hell, he was even my first time. We had been together 3 years when he proposed. It was perfect. But right now, that's not important.

The concerned blond staring at me is what's important. 

"I-I'm fine, Iz." I stuttered out, gasping for air. She immediately reached for me but I smacked her hands away, my breathing getting worse as she did. 

"Okay, just try to calm down. I'll be right back!" She darted out the door. I heard her tennis shoes squeaking on the floor as she ran down the hallway. I stayed perfectly still, not moving except to hyperventilate, as I listened for her to come back. Only this time, there were 3 pairs of squeaking shoes, not just Isobel Stevens bright yellow Nikes. She once claimed that she wears them because it "helps brighten the dullness of the ER", but she's almost never in the ER. I think she just wears them because she-

Oh.

Oh no.

20 points from Gryffindor. 

One the one hand, she had brought my brother. The one person able to calm me down in any situation. The person who's been there for me through everything; my rock.

One the other, not so nice hand, he had followed. My eyes widened as soon as I saw him. 

"Sammy..." He whispered, his features softening as he took in my disheveled appearance. He started to take a step towards me but I flinched back, growling.

"Don't you dare come near me. Not again, Sloan. I hate you." I sneered, trying to inflict as much pain with those 3 simple words as he had over the last 3 years. It seemed to work for half a second until his eyes flickered down to my neck and a small smile started to spread on his face. My hand immediately flew up and I grabbed my necklace, hiding it even though I knew it was too late. The damage was done. He had already noticed it. 

"You can't hate me that much. You're still wearing the necklace." He murmured, looking at me with hope-filled eyes. In a split second decision, I ripped the chain from around my neck and threw it his feet. 

"I don't even know the man that gave that to me. He was happy and full of life. He cared. He loved me. He wanted me. I was enough. But the man I see now? He's so different. I'm not enough anymore. Why, Mark? Why couldn't I be enough? I loved you with everything I had!" By the end of it, we were both crying. The difference? I was sobbing. Whereas, Mark had a few stray tears rolling down his perfect cheeks. 

I knew he would never change but I, much like other women in this world, thought that I could fix the big bad player. 

"Please. Just go." I managed to gasp out. Mark slowly bent down and picked up the broken necklace. He gave me one last look before roughly shoving the door open and storming down the hallway. I stared at the place he had once stood a moment longer before turning my attention to the only person I currently wanted to see. 

"I'm so sorry, Sam. If I had known it would be this bad, I would've done my damndest to make sure you never saw him again." Derek said, a lone tear appearing on his face as well. 

I barked out a laugh before pulling myself up and launching into his arms. "Thank you, Der, but I've needed to say that for a long time," I whispered in his ear. He nodded, his arms wrapped securely around my back. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. I'm not sure how long we stood there, but I do know there was only one reason we broke apart. 

Our pagers simultaneously singing out a 911 alert. 

_________

So. Sam and Mark have problems eh?? Again. Long wait. So very sorry. But if anyone comments about anything it motivates me more to write! Even if you just yell at me for my inability to update in a timely fashion :)