Jayfeather & Half Moon/Briarlight

4

  A beautiful white she-cat stared into a pool, her emerald green eyes full of longing.

Sensing another presence, she lifted her head to meet the gaze of a black she-cat. The black she-cat, too, had green eyes. The black she-cat padded over, her pawsteps soft against the leaves that littered the ground of the forest.

"Half Moon," she greeted as she joined the white she-cat's side.

"Hollyleaf," Half Moon greeted. Her white tail gently laid upon Hollyleaf's shoulders. "Do you seek advice?"

"No," Hollyleaf purred. Her green eyes sparkled, glancing into the pool. Embarrassed, Half Moon lifted a paw to disrupt the scene being played on the pool. Hollyleaf raised a paw to block it. "There is nothing to hide. I know of your love for my brother."

Half Moon's eyes traced back to Jayfeather's sleeping figure, curled up next to a brown she-cat. "It's very hard not to think about Jay's Wing, even though I know that time was a long while ago." Half Moon admitted.

Hollyleaf's tail curled to touch her cheek. "I think of Fallen Leaves once in a while, too. I miss his presence at times. But it's something best left behind... because it can never be."

Half Moon shook her head. "No, Hollyleaf. It's possible-"

"Possible?" Hollyleaf looked like she was about to purr. But behind that, Half Moon could feel a slight sadness, longing. Hollyleaf's voice was hoarse, "Once, I may have dreamed that. But... fate is not to be, I suppose."

Half Moon dug her claws into the ground. Everyone was saying that, when it was possible. Love... love could not die so fast. "When Jayfeather walks in StarClan, we'll be reunited." Half Moon meowed.

Hollyleaf's green eyes turned up to her, her black pelt blending into the shadows of the night. Pity glinted in them.

Half Moon knew what it was that caused her pity. Her heart ached to think of it. It was a horrible truth Half Moon had always tried denying... but it would always be the stark truth, no matter how much she tried to hide it. Sighing, Half Moon closed her eyes. "I know I'm ancient. I know..." she faltered, "I know that I may be faded - almost gone when Jayfeather comes. I may not even be around anymore. But I have to believe."

Half Moon stared up at the moon, tears glistening in her eyes. "It's all we can ever do - believe that everything will turn out alright."

Hollyleaf bowed her head in silence.

Half Moon turned her gaze back on Jayfeather and Briarlight. Pain stabbed at her heart like a thousand blades. Would I still be here?

"If your love is really so strong, Jayfeather could come to StarClan sooner than he's meant to be."

Half Moon looked at Hollyleaf with a curious look, and then it turned to one of horror. "No! I can never do that to Jayfeather. Asking him to give up his life... no, Hollyleaf. I cannot ever do that. I want him to live his life in happiness and joy until the end of his days - with or without me. He deserves so much more..."

Hollyleaf dipped her head, green eyes searching Half Moon's before she turned away. "Whatever your decision, I believe it will be the right one."

Staring down at the pool, Half Moon sighed. "I hope so too."

Jayfeather could feel the continuous press of loneliness weighing down on his shoulders. Briarlight was mostly sleeping, and barely woke up to keep him company. Alderheart and Leafpool were busy helping the Clan while Jayfeather stayed next to Briarlight's side, and whenever Lionblaze poked his head in, Jayfeather was reminded that even he had someone to talk to - Cinderheart. He even had kits.

Heart heavy, Jayfeather was dipping moss in the clear spring water when Ivypool padded in. "Jayfeather, may I speak to you for a moment?"

Jayfeather raised his head. "What is it?" He asked. His voice was unusually tired and soft.

Ivypool sat down, looking at Briarlight. "I was wondering whether I have any kits." She gently licked Briarlight's head in an affectionate manner while waiting for Jayfeather's reply.

He approached her, feeling her belly. "No, you can still do your warrior duties. It's beginning to swell, but it will be another few moons before it begins to show. Other than that, you're still fit."

Ivypool relaxed. "Is Briarlight alright?"

Jayfeather glanced at the sleeping she-cat. "She's alright. I'm going to take her out of this medicine den soon."

Ivypool dipped her head. "I can see this is taking a toll on you. Would you like any help?"

"No," Jayfeather shook his head. "I can manage this."

"If you say so." Ivypool glanced at Briarlight one last time. "I've seen you with Briarlight. You are more gentle and understanding with her. Thank you for that, she needs it."

Jayfeather dropped his gaze, unwilling to admit anything or to reply to the warrior. Ivypool eyed him for a moment before she left. Jayfeather felt a wave of loneliness once again when he heard the excited chatter outside the den. He had experienced this feeling before, but last time he had more things to distract him with.

"There's someone you can talk to, you know."

He remembered Yellowfang's words, ringing in his head like a bell that wouldn't stop. Feelings for Half Moon loomed up, but he pushed it down. Thoughts crowded his thoughts, tying itself into complicated knots that made him feel dizzy. He lay down with his head on his paws, eyes closed.

"Jayfeather?"

Briarlight's mew was dry and hoarse. Immediately he sat up, worry for her numbing all other feelings. "Briarlight, are you alright?"

"Just a little thirsty."

Jayfeather scooped the moss he had dipped in water and gently placed it next to Briarlight's nest. She lapped at it slowly, then lay back and sighed. "I want to feel fresh air again - to feel the sun's heat on my back."

Jayfeather purred, stretching and lying beside the she-cat. "I'll take you when your wounds are more healed. And when you have more energy."

Briarlight gently rested her head on his shoulder, breathing deeply. "Thank you, Jayfeather."

"It's what I do." He muttered. Suddenly conscious of what he was doing, he moved away and sat up. He never really paid attention to how gentle he was with Briarlight, but Ivypool's remark made him more aware.

As Jayfeather padded out to get something to eat, his heart clenched at the thought of how vulnerable he had become with Briarlight. I have to stop this. Leafpool's mistake still brought shame to his heart, but already his heart seemed to be mending - forgiving her.

I have to stop this.

Briarlight's beautiful blue eyes blinked up at him in his mind. He stumbled.

But... can I?