roses//g.d

20

*before reading please know that scarlett cuts herself in this chapter and if that triggers you in any way please don't read it*

scarlett:

almost immediately i got a notification saying that grayson was typing. i saw his name pop up with a blue chat bubble, and i was super nervous to see what it said.

i opened the message, it read 'coming over now.' 

i furrowed my eyebrows, he is not coming over.

'no.' i responded and sent it back.

i waited a few seconds for him to reply again, he said 'yes. somethings obviously wrong if ur getting high'

i rolled my eyes and threw my phone down, i just want to be alone right now.

i wish i realized that grayson just cared about me, and didn't want to start an argument. i almost completely destroyed our friendship, well, until i did completely destroy it.

i got up from aidens bed and sat back down on the floor, ready to smoke more. if grayson's coming over, maybe i can be stoned enough to not hear what he's gonna say.

i repeated the same process i did earlier, filling the bong with water and all that. i completely packed the bowl this time, and began to take huge inhales. i did this for about 10 more minutes until i didn't feel anything at all, and heard footsteps.

i heard grayson barge into my room, before walking back out when he realized i wasn't there. i then heard the door open to aidens room, and looked as i saw a blurry ass grayson walk in.

"scarlett?" he asked as he walked up to me.

i looked up at him, and i could tell he noticed the tint in my eyes.

"scarlett." he said my name again, only sadder this time.

he kneeled down next to me, and attempted to grab aidens bong.

once he picked it up, i yanked it from him.

"stop grayson."

he furrowed his eyebrows at me, and i swear they started crawling around his face.

my eyes widened as i watched his eyebrows, which now looked like caterpillars, crawl down his cheeks and over his nose.

i reached out to touch his eyebrows, but he grabbed hold of my wrist.

"what's wrong with you?" he asked, clearly angry.

"im high, duh." i laughed at what i said.

"no shit. why'd you do this scarlett?"

"everyone smokes, no biggie."

"don't say 'oh no biggie' it is big, i've never seen you smoke in my life."

"well, there's a 1st for everything."

he let out a sigh, and shook his head. "why are you high right now?"

"because i smoked." i simply said.

"no shit you smoked, you just- you never do."

"um are you dumb? do you not remember when i admitted everything to you and told you i've drug dealed before, and that i used to smoke with aiden?" i don't why, but i was being extremely sassy.

"1st of all, don't call me dumb. im trying to help you. second, yes, i obviously remember you saying that crap." he started to get an attitude with me as well.

"did you just come here to be a dick?" i asked.

"no scarlett what the fuck? i came here to help you." he rose his voice at me.

"and how the hell were you going to do that?" i rose my voice back.

"i don't know okay! can i not try to be nice?"

"yeah, you can. but no offense it's not fucking working."

"fuck you scarlett, i don't have to take time out of my day to help you!"

we were full on yelling at each other now.

"i don't know if you can see grayson, but there is no helping me! my parents are dead, my brother is dead, im here by my fucking self! im gonna have to leave soon because im not of age, and ill probably go to a fucking orphanage and live there for a year because no wants to adopt a fucking 17 year old. i have no fucking money and all i can ever think about is my dead brother floating around in bloody bath water! the only way you can help me, is by building me a god damn time machine!" i yelled in his face, before breaking down crying.

graysons face immediately softened, as did his voice.

"scarlett-"

"get out!" i interrupted him.

"no, i-"

"can't you see i want to be alone grayson? get the fuck out!" i shouted.

he nodded his head and gave me a kiss on the forehead, before standing up and leaving aidens room.

i immediately curled into a ball, and started sobbing, this is way too much to handle.

i got up and trudged into aidens bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.

"i hate you!" i shouted at myself, before punching it.

i punched the mirror until i heard the glass shatter, and felt my knuckles sting.

i dug through his drawer and pulled out a razor, separating it and taking out the blades.

i held the blade up to my wrist, should i do this?

i looked back up in the shattered glass, and saw a mess of a person. a tear stained, red eyed, disgusting looking person.

i need to do this.

i took the blade, and slowly dragged it along my wrist. i did it a couple more times until i felt satisfied, and washed the blade off.

"i'm okay now." i sniffled to myself.

i walked back into aidens room and lied down on his bed. i began to examine my wrist, and looked at what i just did to it. i released my pain, i felt better now.

i smiled to myself and closed my eyes, realizing that i hit a new all time low.

*
sorry if this chapter triggers you