roses//g.d

32

scarlett:
(monday)

"fuck." i groaned, sitting up from my bed.

today's monday morning, which means school.

after i left graysons house on saturday, i completely isolated myself in my room. i didnt respond to anyones texts or anything, and i thought a lot. i didn't eat anything, or sleep really. i thought a lot about what has happened to me, and how strong, yet weak i am. to say the least, saturday night through all of sunday, i did a lot of bad stuff. i smoked, i drank, and i cut myself, a lot. i know grayson said to call him and stuff, but i don't want to put all my sadness on him, and make him feel like he needs to make me feel better. the hickeys all over me and my bruised cheek are a constant reminder of how i was raped, aidens room is a constant reminder that he's dead, and same goes for my parents and their room. i'm really beginning to not know what to do with myself anymore, it seems like i only have 3 people left. those 3 people happen to be ethan, kathryn, and of course, grayson.

i got out of my bed and trudged into the bathroom, turning on my light and looking at myself in the mirror.

to say i looked like a wreck, was an understatement.

the swelling on my cheek has drastically gone down, the only thing left was a purple-ish bruise. the hickeys on the other hand, were prominent against my neck, collar bones, and chest. i examined my wrist, my cuts were very... out there.

i decided that today, i should just have a rest day. i crawled back into bed and got comfortable, ready to go back to sleep. i was about to close my eyes, when i heard a ding from my phone.

gilinsky is typing...
snapchat from gilinsky

fuck no.

i opened his gross ass snapchat. it said, 'wear something revealing for me babe ;)'

i replied with a simple 'fuck no' and put my phone back down.

not even a minute later i got a snapchat back from him, let's see what this douche bag has to say.

'i would listen to me if i were you, don't want grayson seeing those pictures do you?'

he would never actually show the pictures to grayson, would he? i mean, they're friends with each other, so if he did, than that'd be a really shitty thing for a friend to do.

i responded to jack, saying 'im not going to school'

'then i'll be seeing you after school, wear something hot.'

i felt myself getting pissed, so i left him on read. i don't want to say something that'd make him actually send grayson those pictures.

before putting my phone down and going back to sleep, i texted grayson to let him know i won't be at school.

he immediately replied, saying 'aww i'll miss u, can i go to ur house after?'

i let out a sigh, i have to go to jacks after school.

i replied, 'ill miss u more, and im sick so ill see'

with that, i put my phone away and went back to sleep.

*
yikesss