juno; poe dameron

iv

I'm tired. I'm so tired. What would I give to spend the entire day just...sleeping. Every morning I wake up, it's still dark outside. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop. The only sound that fills the room is the light hum of the generators that power this hall. There is always a slight smell of gasoline that runs throughout this entire base, but you have to pay close attention to really notice it.

 You know that feeling when you're not fully awake? As if your eyes are always threatening to close and your body feels like it could collapse at any given moment. That's how I feel every single day. I've tried to seek out a doctor about it, but when you don't have a lot of money to begin with, it's kind of hard to get a diagnoses- especially when every doctor says that I just need a "good night's sleep"Every night when I get back to my room, I barely have enough energy to take off my boots and tool belt. And it's not even just for an hour or two, it's throughout the entire day where I feel like this. I truly crave nothing more than a "good night's sleep".

A strange warmness surrounds the room- I like to think that it's my body trying to lure me back into bed. Never fully awake, I feel like I can lie down and fall asleep anywhere at any given moment. I've gotten away with it on some occasions- like when I decided to take a nap during, and a little after, lunch. Or when I sneak in a quick snooze in my office when things are slow. However, I have duties to fulfill.

One good thing about being Lead Droid Mechanic is the fact that you don't have to wear the same orange jumpsuit every day. But it really doesn't make that much of a difference since I wear the same green jacket almost every day. There are off-colored patches sewn onto the tears and holes. I think the buttons were once a glittering, polished gold, but throughout the years they've turned to a chipping and dull yellow sheen. It was my mom's, and her mom's before hers, and so on. It's like a family heirloom. Dust from hundreds of planets and systems are trapped within these threads, it has seen war, peace, love, hate- and everything in between.

Every day it's the same routine. The same messy bun-braid concoction, the same green jacket and maroon pants, the same brown boots that are covered with oil and soot. I have a very simple rotation of shirts; today it's the sleeveless tan turtleneck. My makeup is always the bare minimum- mascara, a little of smudged eyeliner, concealer to make me look a little less dead, and a tinted lip balm. With my gloves stuffed in the pocket of my jacket and my identification keycard held between my fingers, I draped the strap of my bag over my chest and made my way to the hangar. 

The Hangar is the best place to be in the morning. It's warm because the heating goes all night so the ships don't get frozen. It's only at this time of day where there is actually some peace and quiet- no pilots running all over the place, no machinery running, no music playing, no droids- simple serenity. There's really nothing like the sunrise on D'Qar. The sky painted with pinks and blues as the sun makes its first appearance of the day. The smell of morning seeps in through the cracks of the hangar door, which is a nice change from the constant smell of gasoline and burnt metal. There's a slight breeze from the draft, but it balances out the warmth in the hangar. Arms folded over my chest, my focus turns to Poe, who has now completely taken over my thoughts- damn pilot. No other person has had this effect on me and I don't know how to feel about it. 

Poe, Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance awakened me. I felt like I was on top of the world for those couple of hours. As if I could take on the entire First Order down with just a wrench. I could barely sleep that night because my heart was going at a million beats per minute. When I woke up, I was excited to work on droids, excited to teach a class- I was excited about life, all because of that damn pilot.