Mr. Mendes

°11

Being at school felt so foreign do to all the snow days I felt like today was the first day and some dumbasses act like it to. They would talk back and just leave whenever. Yesterday I just stayed inside, turned off my phone and watched gossip girl because that should be the only drama I worry about. I was debating on coming today becuase I didn't know if I was ready to see shawn today but again I wasn't trying to make up all this damn work with more work ontop of it.

The day was a drag but I finally make it to last period which was the one I have been dreading the most.

I take my seat in the back and wait for the classroom to fill up but today only three other students came in, so the rest were either skipping or were at home enjoying another day off which I should have done if I knew it would have ended up like this.

Good afternoon cl-, where is everyone

Shawn looked around and everyone just shrugged there shoulders.

Well since nobody's here you can all just leave early.

They all cheered and packed there bags. I was was the last one in the room because I'm slow as shit so before I could leave shawn had already locked the door and came over to me.

Okay was it necessary to lock the door mr.mendes

I said you can call me shawn and yes because I know you to well. You will just leave without me giving you an explanation.

he wasn't wrong but I don't care what he has to say the way he acted was so uncalled for even after I calmed him down.

It was so wrong the way you acted twords me, I was there helping you, calming you down after that bitch came and then you repay me by kicking me out because I wasn't ready to fuck you.

I look at him and he had his head down. I didn't personally like this side of me but when someone sorta fucks me over they have to hear my mouth because I don't play games.

Look I get I'm coming off as a bitch but this is what you wanted, to talk it over.

he reaches out for my hand and holds it tightly.

Your not coming off as a bitch, I deserve every amount of anger and hate you have towards me, I fucked up completely.

He finally looks up to me and I can see the hurt in his eyes. I take my other hand and lay it on top of our hands That are already connected.

I know I shouldn't have forced you even after I told you we should wait. I think because of everything that was happening I resorted back to what I did before to get over the situation.

I look up to him dumfounded, what did shawn truly do after his break up, who was person he had become after her? What made him who he is now?

Let's go back to your place were there is more privacy.

He nods and gets up to grab his coat and suit case while I get my blue jacket and book bag.
He stands by the door with a forced smile waiting for me.

We get into his car and drive in silence. when we make it to his house
we both go to his room and sit on his bed.

So tell me what you mean when you said you "resorted to my old ways"
And how it falls into you wanting to fuck me

I didn't want to fuck you I wanted to make love, I really hate the word fuck.

I scoot closer to him so he knows he has my full attention.

After me and lauren broke up I was one of the people who thought it would be best to get drunk and fuck other girl to get my mind off of her but that would only last for that night and then the next day I was back to thinking about her, it was a never ending loop I was stuck in.

I held both of his hands tight because I was shocked to hear all of this. Its so crazy how love can mess someone up this much.

How long did this last?

It only lasted for a few months until I came home for Christmas and my family found out, they helped me through all of it, especially my sister she is so smart and caring. She's the best little sister ever.

I smiled when he started talking about his sister I'm happy his family cared so much for him I wish I got that much love from my parents, there never home and when they are there at work all day and night.

y/n I just want you to forgive me, I know I fucked up big time but that night you left it felt like I lost everything and I never felt like that since I lost her.

it was my turn to look down, I didn't know how to react. My mind was all over the place. but I do know one thing and that is I felt the same way the night I left, he felt like he was miles and miles away and needed him by my side.

You will never lose me

💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫

I have been writing this all day and now I have to go to bed because I have stupid testing tomorrow so wish me good luck but its the english and social studies portion so its going to be easy.

Hope you guys enjoyed this

Love you guys,
Chloe💫