Real love is hard to find: Editing/Hold

Real love is hard to find | Five

5 | Make a decision between the two

Amaria's point of view

Right now, I'm doing fine, soon I'll be getting a job. This growing up thing, I was so real about it, growing up means you have to toughen up and control your feelings towards certain things. I wanted to do just that.

Dre had stopped messaging me after a week, since I been ignoring him. I would like to say I'm happy that he gets what I mean when I say I'm done, but I can't I... Miss him... Is that bad?

I went to class after lunch and we had to do a test... *Fast forward* It was after school and Dre had told me to wait outside the cafeteria so we could talk, I was kinda confused about the situation. But I said okay.

I had waited and 10 minutes later, he came out looking nervous as hell... That's when soon my heart dropped, I didn't want to assume things but do you sometimes get that gut feeling?

He nervously walked over and sat down and would look everywhere but me, guilty... Now what the fuck did he do? I thought. Well this was the first time so, so in thought he looked at me... Dead in my eyes... His hazel-blue eyes had me in a daze. He made me lust him, even if the love for him was more powerful.

Dre was the guy I felt like he was the one... For everything- "Ma, I know you did nothing but treat me right but the confession I'm gonna tell, I just hope you forgive me..." He starts off, he looked down rubbing his hands on his pants.

He then looked up with glossy-apologetic eyes, "I cheated Amaria..." As those words replayed in my head, I couldn't do anything but tear up. But I didn't want to show any signs of weakness or hurt. Not in front of him, I just looked at him...

Was I not enough? Was it because I wasn't giving myself to him yet? What was the reason for him to cheat? I did nothing but try and keep him happy, it's just sad that I wasn't getting the same affection.

I shrugged and stood to my feet, "Bye, Dre." I wanted that nigga to know. That us shit was done for, we can't even be friends. I walked off towards my car, got in my car, and went home.

Not too long before I had gotten home, I didn't cry 'cause I didn't want my family to know I just got cheated on, right now, I wanted to go for a joy ride to get my mind off a bitch.

But my room was the only way to be away from the world. Me, in my feelings and I acted like this wasn't the first time. But 30 minutes later of just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, I was tryna get to my happy place...

Yeah, I'm still a little hurt, but we gone go down this in our life. So why faze it, why be depressed over a nigga that didn't care or think about my feelings? Well whatever, all that night I stayed in my room smiling at random times, like I was a crazy mental person. I started to tear up at random times, get mad, sad, depressed anything, I just let out. So these feelings wouldn't faze me anytime later.

I was walking down the halls of the mall, when I heard music playing. I ignored it but it became louder, I turned around to see Dre standing there with a radio... Great!

"Ma I'm not letting you go so easily, I stop texting you was just to get you off track. I want you to forgive me, I know what I did was a stupid mistake. But it was only one time, I know it only takes one time. But I can't wake up everyday having to know that you ain't my girl anymore, and another nigga can just come up and take you away. I care too much about you, just to see you not by my side... " Dre yelled having people to look, I would be the worst lier in the world if I wasn't feeling this moment.

"How do I breathe, yeah?

How do I breathe, yeah?
It feels so different being here,
I was so used to being next to you,
Life for me is not the same,
There's no one to turn to.