Don't Stop Believin Book 2 to Believe

Ten

The morning treatments began for Steph loomed just as the cloudy Boston sky looked as if it were about to erupt at any moment.

The shitty weather matched her shitty mood.

She and Jordana had been home for a little over six weeks . Their  baby's features becoming more prominent and defined as she got closer to the two month old mark. 

Jordan stood in the nursery doorway watching them interact as he felt a lump develop in his throat .

Fucking cancer . Why now ? Why ever ? 

Their life had just begun.

Their daughter needed both of them .Especially her mother.

Their other kids needed her guidance , support and unconditional love.

I need her 

Fuck you cancer you're not  taking her from us 

Goddamnit you son of a bitch you can't have her 

Steph looked up from burping their daughter smiling widely at him

"Hi beautiful " Jordan murmured 

"How long have you been standing there watching ?"

"Long enough to be jealous of my daughter . I miss my beautiful lady "

Laying the baby in her bassinet Steph pushed off of the rocking chair and meandered her way over to Jordan 

"How'd the postpartum appointment go ? I'm sorry I couldn't go with you but I had no choice fucking incompetent staff "

Jordan took her hand and led her to the small  sitting area in their bedroom.

"It's early Jordan why don't we snuggle up for a little bit "Steph whispered suggestively 

"Doctor cleared you ?"

"Mhmm "

"Baby ..I "

Steph suddenly felt self conscious and foolish "It's okay J I just wanted to be in your arms . With everything happening so fast I just thought a few minutes alone would be nice."

Jordan sighed praying for the right words ,

How could Jordan tell her that he was petrified to touch her ? 

"I need to feel our connection again Jordan . I need to know this is truly real. I need you to show me that like everyone else in my life that you won't leave me when shit gets too rough .That when you tell me you love me it's not just words. "

"Baby I do  love you "Jordan whispered emotionally.

Wrapping his arms around her Jordan tried to push his fears aside .

"I am never leaving you.Do you remember in Philly when you asked me why you ?"

Steph silently nodded unsure of what to say 

"Because you loved me for me .Your love has always been unconditional. You've proven you love Jordan Knight the shy kid from Dorchester not Jordan Knight pop star.You're open with me , honest , treat me as if I'm just a regular guy. You've cared about my well being more than my next sold out show and that means something to me. You mean everything to me . All my life I've struggled first to fit in because I was the shy kid. Then boom we exploded and every hormonal teenage girl wanted me. How can you want someone you don't even know like that. Suddenly I had hoards of females in love with me."

Jordan paused hoping he wasn't rambling senselessly.

"You told me when we met you'd waited over two decades to meet me.You were skeptical of my motives  to get to know you. I have never had to explain myself or my intentions to anyone since I was sixteen years old. That showed me you weren't into me because of what I could give you . You forced me to pursue you. "

Steph listened intently before speaking 

"I thought it was all a joke that one day I'd wake up and it'd all be some fucked up dream"

"Our connection was there from the moment I touched your hand.It was like I was drawn to you baby. Tiff helped you win that contest for a reason. We were meant to meet ,make a connection and end up where we are at this very moment.Believe me meeting someone was the furthest thing from my mind I wasn't even looking and suddenly there you were right in front of me"

Jordan absently played with a strand of Steph's hair wrapping it around his hand as he gently tugged her close 

"Make love to me please " Steph whispered "I need to feel our connection again, your touch please "

Jordan lowered his lips to Steph's kissing her gently at first.Steph grasped the hem of his shirt and slid her hands underneath gently drawing circles on his back as she rubbed it.

"Take this off please "

Jordan stilled her movements for a moment

"I want you all to myself tonight and a certain grandmother wants her grandchildren let me make a few phone calls " 

Steph pouted but allowed Jordan to pull away to make the calls.

Twenty minutes later overnight bags as well as the kids were all securely loaded into their uncle's mini van for the hour drive to Essex .

Closing the front door Jordan noticed Steph wasn't in the living room where she'd been when Dave and Jon got there to pick the kids up.Following the sound of running water mingled with soft music Jordan found her in their bathroom sitting on the side of their large jetted  tub lighting her favorite vanilla scented candles 

She wore lingerie Jordan hadn't seen on her before.

The two piece powder blue lace and chiffon baby doll left nothing to the imagination as Jordan perused his favorite parts of her body through the material while he stripped off his own clothes before taking Steph's hand and leading her into the tub