My Hubby the Action Hero

Chapter one: Epic Matrimony

Chapter one: Epic Matrimony

Joseph Aboringo had a dull ache in his head that morning. He assumed this was the almighty force known as a 'hangover'. As a man who had just turned 21 yesterday, he supposed this was another rite of passage. He was somewhat sore and aching in several spots.

Joe was the typical American guy. He hated his job, he hung out with friends, he watched sports. He had boring brown hair, boring tan skin, and boring brown eyes.  He lived in Nevada. He was nothing special.

   He heard a groan and realised he wasn't alone.  Cracking one eye open, he found himself in a bed he didn't recognize. He faced a gorgeous view from a floor to ceiling window. It looked like all of Las Vegas could be seen from it. The sheets he laid on were soft and luxurious. Definitely not his futon.

   He smirked into the sheets. Not only had he had his first drink, but maybe his virginity was gone as well. He blinked. The previous night's events were lost to him. Joe turned slowly. He could hear a shower running. He flipped over and found himself alone in a ridiculously large bed. The shower ceased. Joe swallowed hard. Who was this mysterious girl?

Was she funny? Smart? Did she like sports? Had they met at the bar? Was she a co-worker? Was it Sydney from Accounting? He hoped it was Sydney from Accounting...

He heard heavy footsteps. It was the moment of truth. He tried to think past the pain in his head and sat up. 'Okay. here we go...'

Joe didn't know what he had been expecting. But this definitely wasn't it.

A tall, handsome man strode into the room. He had rippling muscles; well defined pecs, abs, quads, and glutes. His face was what Joe could only describe as some strange cross between Chris Evans, Channing Tatum, and Laz Alonso. He wasn't even sure how that was possible, but he was looking at it.

"Hey there, Cuddlebottom. The bathroom is free." The man flashed him a dazzling smile, and a chill went down Joe's spine.The stranger dropped his towel and walked over to the window. It was then Joe noticed the heap of rumpled clothes on the floor. He began to piece things together. Hangover. Sore body. Hotel room. Random stranger.

Fear crept through him. He ran to the bathroom. 'Oh God...Oh...' The bathroom was full of steam and gigantic.

'Please don't tell me I did what I think I did...'

"Hey Cuddlebottom-"

He could hear the guy calling him. He ran to bathroom door and locked it.  He began to pace back and forth. "Okay, don't panic Joe. So your 'first' is a little different than expected. I'm sure things aren't so bad. Maybe it's a joke-"

The stranger knocked on the door. "Cuddlebottom!  Are you okay in there?"

Cuddlebottom. That didn't sound like a joke. He backed away. "Uh, Who's there?"

The man laughed. "What do you mean?  It's me, Jack. You know, your husband?"

"My WHAT!?"

Jack sighed.  He was afraid this would happen. He took a step back from the door. "Listen, I think we-" He heard the sound of helicopter blades growing louder. Jack looked out the window. Sure enough there were two choppers armed with missiles and headed towards their hotel. He grabbed their clothes and rammed the bathroom door down.

"Gah!" Joe jumped. "What the hell are you doing!?"

Jack tossed him his clothes. No time to argue sweetness, we have to get out of here!"