Conduit Tale-An Undertale Fanfiction Novel

Chapter 37: Flowey the Matchmaker

"Well, hiiii, Saaaaaansy! Sansy, Sansy, Sansy." Flowey bopped his petaled head around as Sans climbed down the stairs.

"So. This is like the second time you did this tonight. And. I still don't know how I feel about the first one. So. You better have a real good excuse for doing that," Sans said, "or out the windowsill you go. And it's already getting super, super cold."

"I want to take a walk," Flowey said.

"A what?"

"I want a walk. I'm a flower that moves. Before bed, I want a walk."

"Okay, out you go." Sans grabbed Flowey by his pot. "Enjoy the windowsill and watch the snow."

"Hang on! In exchange, I'll give you advice on humans you won't find in books," Flowey added quickly. "Come on? They are kind of funny creatures. A walk in Waterfall. And, I'll even give you one advanced tip before we go?"

Sans looked toward the windowsill. Hm. "What tip?"

"Go upstairs, knock on your bedroom door, and tell Frisky that you understand she's shy and that while you're gone, she should feel free to get her PJ's on." Flowey winked. "Cause I guarantee she's already dressed anyhow. Make yourself look good."

"Huh?" He didn't get it.

"Trust me. Human women are beyoooooond shy of their bodies. Probably due to the lack of protection everywhere else. While Frisky does have DETERMINATION, I think she's done enough in less than 24 hours for you. Agreed?" Flowey asked. "Come on. If you don't start off well, your marriage could really suck."

Sans made a slight groan but did as Flowey said. "You better be right about this." He knocked on the door and said the exact same thing Flowey said to, and climbed back down.

"There. Good. Now, if you weren't so pressed for time, I would say give her a week to get used to that. But, give her 48 hours?" Flowey stressed.

"Why?" Sans still didn't get it. "Shouldn't be ashamed. I don't care. Heck, Alphys wears nothing but a labcoat. She'd take it off any old day." He touched his own coat. "I could take these off any old day too. Whatever."

"Yeah, tip one? She's not a Monster. Humans are shy." Flowey groaned. "You should know that by now."

"But I'm not . . ." Was this flower really right? "But part of the reason you even do that is, you know. Personal signs you'd never hurt each other. I know some Monsters like her tender flesh but I'd never hurt her. I mean, that's what-."

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking," Flowey said. "It's Monster marriage, she should feel comfortable in certain ways with you after the Soul bearing. This is kind of disrespectful of her, yada, yada. Well, it doesn't work that way perfectly with humans! There are different things to it, Sansy. Human and Monster Marriage are very different. The way you approach them is different."

"I . . . I don't get it." Was he really on the up and up? "The longer we take, the more she'll think something's wrong."

"No, she . . . ugh. Fine, before bed, tell her to be prepared for tomorrow night then?" Flowey said. "I still suggest 48 but whatever. At least 24 is something. Now, let's go! I need my walk."

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Sans took a shortcut to Waterfall, half feeling like an idiot. He was taking advice from Flowey. But, the flower did have experience with girl humans. Something that was kind of rare.

"Warm, warm, warm, warm, warm."

Oh yeah, downstairs probably got too cold for it. Well, maybe . . . maybe it could stay with either him or Papyrus at night. If it really proved itself to be good. "Okay. You better have good stuff, and no more than a few minutes. I don't want to leave with just Pap guarding the house too long."