Still Hungry? [Short Chapters]

Chapter Two

Since I was young, around about the age of eight, I've always had a low self esteem. I've been bullied a lot, but then again who hasn't? Maybe that's part of the reason why.

It started around the time of September 2009, I was just starting ninth grade. It was the year I had a lot of big exams and coursework, so maybe that had a little effect on it too.

I was sitting in my English class, talking to Amber. It was a Wednesday and to say we were in September, it was pretty hot. Amber was going on about Jake, her latest boyfriend..

'So, when he came round, I asked him about this Danielle girl and he said he had no idea who I was talking about!' she laughed and flipped her wrist at me, while I stared uninterested at the blackboard behind her.

'I mean, either he's a down right liar or I'm just being paranoid right? Am I right?' she continued. I nodded responsively and replied with,

'Yeah, maybe.' I wasn't always interested in Amber's love life. Maybe it was because I never had one of my own. I'd never let anyone close enough to me. I wasn't afraid of getting hurt or anything like that, I just wasn't a very social-able person and I'll admit that. It wasn't that I didn't like people, I was just rubbish at trying to start up a conversation. If they spoke to me, I'd speak back and try to make myself look a little less shy but it wasn't a thing that happened a lot. I had my own friends, my friends I could act like a complete idiot around but sometimes I felt, even they saw me as a solitary person.

I snapped back in to reality to see Amber waving her hand in front of my face.

'Helooooo? Earth the Callie?' My eyes darted back to her face. 

'Oh sorry Amber, whats up?' She rolled her eyes at me. 

'Urgh, never mind.' She grunted. 'So what you planning on doing this summer Cal?' 

'Well, I'm off to America to see my "distant relatives" for a few weeks, that's about it, you?' 

'Holiday too babes!' she winked at me with her chewing gum showing in her mouth. 'Im gonna start this new diet too, get my beach bod for Spain!' 

I would never understand Amber, she was tiny. She couldn't of weighed anymore than 90 pounds. But she was small, so it was healthy. 

'Yeah I might start one too.' I replied, actually considering It. I had been noticing little things in the mirror lately. A bit extra here and there, It wouldn't hurt to loose a few pounds. 

Just then the English teacher walked past. 

'I hope you girls aren't talking about dieting! If you loose anymore weight you'll disappear!' she looked genuinely shocked but i couldn't help but think she was just being nice. I knew I was overweight, It wasn't a massive thing but I needed to get a little more healthy anyway. 

 Me and Amber both laughed in reunion and continued on with our work, waiting for the bell to ring and summon us to the assembly hall. I hated assembly, everyone just sitting around listening to the lecturer talking about either equal rights or how everyone would find If It easier to get along If we all spoke to each other. 

Weirdly enough this time, assembly was about healthy eating. I sat and watched Miss Salamonie march up and down the hall talking about our five a day and how much exercise a day we should be  doing. I sat there and began to wonder how much faster the weight would drop off If I did double the amount of exercise. And ate half the amount of calories. 

I thought about the diet a lot, more than i'd ever thought about anything before. I checked on-line for the best diets and how much weight i would lose by doing different things. I wanted to be healthy. I found out how many different kinds of dieting there were! Detox diets, no carbs diets, soup diets, cabbage water diets, etc.. none of them really sounded appealing to me. 

So I decided to go with the one everyone knows, the 'Special K' diet. You know? Where instead of having a meal, you exchange It for a bowl of 'Special K'? You swap two of your meals for the cereal and then have your other meal as normal. So i chose to have Special K for my breakfast and for my dinner, then I'd have a proper meal for my Tea. 

I kept this diet up pretty well. Although It was'nt really a diet, sometimes I'd even take an extra bowl of cereal to bed with me. Not even mentioning the 3 or 4 snacks i'd eat a day. I didn't restrict myself at all. I took Special K to school with me for my dinner and people would sit and stare at me like I was some kind of freak, It didn't bother me though I knew It would look pretty strange bringing in a container of milk and a box of Special K.. 

And that's simply how my Anorexia came about, it wasn't something I sat and thought about. I just wanted to loose a few pounds and be healthy.