Eye Contact ~ SM

6 {so..so betrayed}

The girl slowly pulls away making it easier for me to see who it is, she turns to face my way and there she was, my best friend kissing My boyfriend in front of me.

i turn and i run, i run as fast as i can not caring about the tears streaming down my face, not caring about my best friend.... wait ex best friend .... calling my name probably telling me that it isn't what it looks like and whatnot but i don't want to hear it, i run, not caring about the weird/worried looks im getting from strangers, i run until i reach my spot, the only thing i can count on when ever im sad, mad or both.

{TRIGGER WARNING}

I felt so.. so betrayed from my best friend and boyfriend. I go and sit on the rock in front of the little lake type thing and cry, i cry until i cant anymore, until i feel numb. i get up and slowly walk back to my house to find dad gone. Probably at the bar getting drunk with his stupid friends from work. I sigh and walk up to my room and lock the door behind me, if dad is at the bar that means he'll come home drunk, and it never goes down good when he comes home drunk. I go straight to the bathroom open the last drawer and get out the thing that has been there with me through it all, my razor. i grab it and slide it across my skin,

one for being unwanted

one for not being enough for Jack

one for not being able to save mum

one for everyone hating you

one for just being alive in general

i just sit on the bathroom floor looking at the blood dripping off of my skin and onto the floor, just looking at it calms me down. After a bit i get up and clean myself off and put bandages on the cuts.

I think its time that I tell you more about me, my name is Laura Joy Reed but everyone calls me Laur. I live with my dad in Toronto Canada because 3 years ago my mum died of breast cancer, and that made my dad be my legal guardian. Ever since my mum died my dad comes home late, drinks and abuses me, verbally and physically. if that isn't bad enough i get bullied by the school jocks and the fake barbies. Some times it gets a little too much and no one knows but i cut, i cut because i have so much pain emotionally that i have to let it out physically, i love seeing the blood ooze out of the cuts on my wrist, it feels like all the problems i have are leaving my body for good, but sadly that feeling doesn't last very long. I get panic and anxiety attacks, the only person that knew and could always help me with them was Jack, i guess I have to find a new way.

I hear the creak of the front door, signalling dad's home, I hurriedly turn off the lights and climb into bed and pretend to sleep. I heard the door to his room close and I let out a breath that i didn't know i was holding. i get up and go to my dresser and i get out my PJ's and change then hop into bed for good, before i fall asleep i couldn't help but feel betrayed because who wouldn't if their boyfriend cheated on them with their best Friend? i decide to listen to music to help me calm down and forget about the problems....... for now.

A/n heyooooooo its me

oooh and hmu on my instagram its:
@//lovingmrmendes

This chapter had some self harm triggering and in future chapters where self harming if mentioned i will put a warning at the start of the chapter. once again this was a pretty long chapter and im trying to write more constantly from now seeing that it is the holidays.

Qotd: whats your fave Shawn fan fic here on watt-pad thatch finished because im looking for some new ones.

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Aotd: i really like 'fake' by @shawnsaftertaste

hope you enjoyed the chapter and see you in the next one

as always if you liked it please vote and comment if theres anything i should imorove.

comments and votes are highly apppreciated

bye loves ❤