Loving The Enemy

7: "Aaaaandd...... Stops"

*TRIGGER WARNING: If you are triggered by acts of cutting or anorexia then tread carefully please.*

"I can't even believe this."

"I know. We are pretty cool here."

Elias has been showing me around the "base" for hours: it's sooo huge! He's been laughing and joking around the whole time. He makes me so happy and smiley. I've never smiled so much in life as I have today.

Sometimes I don't even know how to be happy. Whenever I was in school, tenth grade I believe, I would walk into my classes, assess my peers, look at myself, and scold myself for not looking like the girls my age. Why did I have to have acne? Why did I have to be fat? Why couldn't I be skinny like the other girls? Why do I have to be... Different?  I'd have a battle inside myself. I would tell myself-sometimes I still do- that I would never change and that no one would ever want me.  Not my parents. Not any boys. If there were any boys, they would only talk to me on a bet or just to screw me over and over, until I just lost all the hope I had left in the opposite gender.

I only had one best friend. Jessie. And she seemed to have accepted me for who I am and my physical appearance, but the one thing that kept nagging at me, was the reason why she was my best friend. Why did she pick me, when there are popular girls, that could give her a good rep? I thought she was my friend because she pitied me. I later found out that, after I got better, she had been asking about me and asking me if I was okay. But I'd just push her away. She was genuine about me being her best friend even though I caused her pain in school.

Dear Diary,

   Defense number 365- It's been a year since Jessie decided to be friends with the most unpopular girl in the school. Me. And everyday since then, she has defended me till she was unconscious and bleeding. I feel so guilty. This is all my fault. I should have told her to piss off like my instincts told me to. But no! I had to be so desperate and selfish as to accept her friendship.

And now, for the 365th time, she had stood up to defend me. John had me pinned up against the lockers because I accidentally ran into him in the hall.

"Watch were you're going, slut-bag!" He punched in the stomach, with so much force, that John let go of me so I could drop to the cold, dirty floor, to curl into fetal position. John repeatedly kicks me everywhere, until my guardian angel arrives. Jessie is more than a gift sent from God, she is my best friend. She is courageous, and she isn't afraid to use the same violence they use to deal with the dumb asses in our school.

"Oh shut up, John! The only slut-bag in this school, is your disgusting pig of a girlfriend." She declared, visibly fuming. By this time, I had taken the chance to get up after a wave of nausea passed, and stood at Jessie's side.

"Come on, Jessie. You didn't need to do that. And you didn't need to do it for the 365th time." I sigh. School is stressful as it is without her defending me. If she continues for another year, we aren't going to take it. They are going to get tired of being denied the fun of abusing me.

"You're going to regret the day you were born, Miller!"

"Yeah, Yeah. Keep talking, asshole." She retorted.

No matter how many times Jessie defended me, they were going to come back stronger, each time.

*The next day*

I take my books out of the locker that has graffiti all over it, ranging from "slut-bag" to hand drawn illustrations suggesting inappropriate gestures and actions. Jessie slides up next to me and when I lift my head to acknowledge her, that's when I see a big bruise her eye is sporting.