Running

Chapter Four

I walked down the barely lit street, rope in hand and only the sound of my bare feet slapping the concrete to accompany me. My senses were abnormally acute for some reason.

I felt the cool summer night breeze against my skin, my loose hair sweeping over my bare shoulders. It tickled. I felt the warm, rough on my feet. A mile was a long way to walk with no shoes.

I could hear the hum of thousands of crickets chirping, their chorus joined by cicadas. I could hear the wind rustling the leaves on their branches. I could hear cars racing by on the nearby highway.

I licked my lips. They tasted salty. It was humid out, so I was sweating a bit, despite the cooler breeze. I could taste the midnight air. Lavender, honeysuckle, freshly mowed grass...

I breathed in. I could smell the same things I could taste: the lavender, honeysuckle and grass. But I could also smell tires and water from the bridge I was beginning to approach.

I closed my eyes, walking a few steps before opening them again. I paused in the street. Opening my eyes I saw the end of the street, only three more houses left. Beyond that, I could just barely see the bridge. I took a deep breath.

Soon.

I shifted my gaze upward, searching for the moon. At first I only saw stars. Locating the Little Dipper, I moved my gaze to the left. There she was. The moon, in her full glory. I smiled, spying her face. She would watch over me tonight. Who knows, maybe she would be the one delivering me to "Heaven," or wherever I would be going... I didn't really believe in life after death, at least, I wasn't sure what I believed. Heaven, sure, it seemed nice and all, but really? We all die and then live perfect, happy lives forever? Yeah, right. I was more inclined to believe in reincarnation. Maybe I would turn out to be another Oprah or something. I sighed. Anything would be better than my life now.

*****

I stood now at the bridge. I took a deep breath and stepped forward onto the wooden boards. I was on the bridge. This was it. I looked around for a place to tie the rope. The majority of the bridge was wooden, but it was supported by metal beams. I didn't want to tie the rope to the wood, because I was afraid it would snap under my weight. I didn't know if it would, but just in case.

I found a metal beam that looked like it had just enough space for me to tie the rope to it. I walked over to it, bent down and began to tie the noose. I hoped I did it right. I didn't actually know how to tie a noose. I had just paid a lot of attention to the ones in old westerns and practiced a bit at home. Upon finishing, I turned to tie it to the beam, triple knotting it.

I sat back, staring at the rope coiled on the ground. My heart was racing. I set my hand over my chest and closed my eyes. I could hear my heart pounding in my head, and I was breathing hard. I opened my eyes again and peered through the railing to see the moonlight reflecting on the river. It was beautiful, but I didn't want to think about it. I sighed. If I was gonna do this, I needed to do it now.

I grabbed the noose, slowly setting it over my head. I tightened it, just until there was about a finger width of space left. I stood up and turned around, keeping my eyes focused on the ground as I walked towards the other side of the bridge. Carefully, I climbed over the wooden railing. Funny, I realized I was worried about getting splinters in my hand. I guess it wouldn't matter if I did, would it?

I stood now on the other side of the railing, the rope around my neck trailing behind me to the other side of the bridge. I finally looked up from the water below. What I saw made me hesitate.