Everything had changed

Chapter Six: Feelings.

I sat in my room, on my bed. A blank expression was painted on my face. I thought and thought about everything. My new school, my new friends, my new boyfriend. My new life. Everything was different.

I looked around my room and my stomach flopped. All of my old things, my belongings, my memories.. They're all here in this room. But why did it feel different? This was my 5th school, I should be used to moving. I should be good at it.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I mumbled.

The door creeps open and my mother walks in, "Hey hun, what's up?" She takes a seat on the edge of my bed.

"Not much" my usual answer.

"Everything ok? You seem off."

"Thanks."

"I'm just saying honey, you can talk to me if you need to, I'm here. "

"Could you close the door on your way out?"

She leaves. I didn't feel like talking. I'm too busy dwelling and over thinking everything. I think about that one question I get from nearly everyone I talk to.

'How do you like the new town?'

People ask me that all the time. People from school, people from my old school, everyone. I never know what to say though. Am I happy? Am I really? I had everything at my old place.

A big room

Nice friends

Fun times

Tons of memories

Everything.

What did I have here?

A tiny room

No friends

No fun

No memories

No nothing

Only difference is, I have a boyfriend here. He could manage to make me smile, give me butterflies and a cheerful mind. He was the upside to the move. The reason I got up I the morning and went to school. He made me so... happy.

My mind then drifted into the topic of Josh. I couldn't quite figure him out. He had two sides. He could be so immature and so.. not appealing, but on the other hand, he could be so wonderful and special when we were alone. He would hold my hand, look into my eyes like nobody had ever done before. He made me feel special, wanted.

**

The next day at lunch, Josh came over. We went into the guest bedroom and he sat close to me. I looked into his deep eyes and smiled, remembering when he was just my crush. He turned to me and hugged me for like 2 minutes.

"You smell so good." He complimented.

I just giggled.

We released each other and I leant in for a kiss. He pulled away, blushing.

"Is something wrong?" I asked

"Well.. I-I, I've never kissed anyone before."

"So? That's okay"

"No, I don't know how to"

"I can show you" I winked.

He just hugged me again. 12:05 came and we had to go back to school. He was the only reason I was happy I moved here.

We were in the garage putting our shoes back on and I went to open the door but he pushed it shut, pinned me to the door and looked into my eyes. I bit my lip thinking about kissing him right there. He moved his head closer to mine, fluttering his eyelids open and closed. He was about to kiss me when he once again, pulled back. I let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how." He spoke.

I opened the door and we exited.

"You're never going to know how if you don't try." I told him.

He grabbed my hand and locked our fingers together. We arrived at the school and walked through the hallways, hand in hand. We hadn't kissed yet, but I still loved just having his hand in mine.

As time went on, my feelings for him grew stronger. Every day, something good would happen between us. It was perfect. I began to love him. I never really loved anyone before so this feeling was new. I liked it, hell, I loved it. I loved him.

One day at school, at break, he came into the library and gave me a paper rose. It was so sweet. I took it home and taped it to my wall, next to my mirror. My life started to feel perfect.

Erin and Emily were fighting a lot lately. Erin was being such a bitch to her, she finally got fed up with it.

In math class, Emily and I were assigned as partners for a project.

"I-I guess were partners" I spoke while taking a seat next to her. I was still unsure how se felt about me.

"Yup" she replied.

"So, are you and Erin friends?"

"I dunno. I don't like how she's been treating me lately, so.." She admitted.

"Yeah, i can see how you would feel that way. She isn't exactly kind to you." I took her side.

She looked at me and smiled. Breakthrough. We were finally getting along. We bonded over that math project. We began laughing together and related to each other a lot. We had so much in common. She told me about the whole thing with Erin and that's when it grew.

***

Emily and I started hanging out together so much. I went to her house after school a lot and sometimes she even came over at lunch time instead of going to Erin's. I could tell that Erin was getting pissed of at our new friendship.

Emily and I stopped going to the library at break to sit with Erin and the rest if the group. We walked around together instead.

*a/n: this is a legit entry in my diary*:

'January 25, Saturday.

Last night, Emily and I went to the hockey game. Josh was there <3. We couldn't sit with him though because he was with his grandparents. But we sat like 2 rows down from him and at the intermission, we talked while the grandparents went to the bathroom. After the game started up again, I was using my phone sort of like a mirror to look behind me and see Josh. He looked at me and saw what I was doing then did that thing with his eyes that never fails to make me laugh. The game ended way too soon.. Josh blew me a kiss before he left. Fun night!'

Everything in my life was coming together. I had the best times with Josh and I had a new best friend. It was perfect.

Until one weekend, it all went to shit.