In These Streets

Chapter 18

It was later in the evening when I got home to find a note from my mom explaining she was having dinner with Tadeus over at the neighbor's house. I headed to the bathroom to wash off the sweat from dance class, pleased that I had my own privacy.

I turned the waterproof radio on and changed the station to a local one. The shower head began spraying water and I stepped underneath the soothing cascade.

Just as I started to shampoo my hair, a song finished on the radio and the radio host's voice came on air.

"Breaking news at this hour, more gang violence in the streets of Watts, Los Angeles. Just an hour ago an unidentified gang believed to be The Black Spades did a drive-by on an alleged money house owned by a rival gang. Police said in a statement that an unidentified car pulled up to a house just north of Watts, past Hacienda Village near Compton Avenue and opened fire at two males on the property. Both of the males disappeared from the scene so their conditions are unknown. Police also said in their statement that several people in the car got out with their weapons and proceeded to raid the house, getting away with sacks full of what is believed to be illegal funds from trafficking narcotics. An investigation is ongoing."

My heart sped up and cold dread slivered through my veins despite the steam rising around me.

I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to the surreal, gritty reality of crime and violence that was rampant in this city. Every time I listened to the local news it was like hearing a bad plot to a Mark Wahlberg movie.

I finished up in the bathroom, combing my hair and twisting it into a messy bun as I walked into my room wrapped in my bathrobe. I glanced at my phone, my brow furrowing as I saw there was no notification. Odd. Usually Darius would text me by now. He was always consistent with messaging me.

I debated on whether I should text him first this time, annoyed with myself that I was so concerned with making a wrong move.

Dammit, he told you he wanted to try with you and you're different, I reminded myself.

I grabbed my phone and quickly typed a message, my long nails clicking against the screen.

Hey, I was thinking about you. Hope you had a good day.

I pressed Send before I could overthink and panic like a coward.

To distract myself while waiting for his reply, I changed into a comfortable matching violet tracksuit and did my skin regimen. Twenty minutes went by and there was still no response from him.

Was he already bored of me? No longer interested after I told him I was a virgin and just ghosted me?

I waited another thirty minutes and picked up my phone, staring at the dark screen disappointedly.

I wanted to call him, to hear his voice, but I knew that would seem too desperate, especially if he wasn't calling me on purpose.

The thought suddenly seemed too awful to think about.

I turned my phone face down and went to the kitchen for a meal.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Darius never replied to my message even the next day, and by the time I came back home on the bus from Shira's dance class that afternoon, I was fully enraged at him and annoyed with myself.

I was pissed that he made me feel excited and important when he gave me attention, and how lonely and empty I felt without it.

I couldn't help but think I should just follow my instincts and cut ties with him, for my own sake and sanity.