Let me love you

◊ 4 ◊

The morning gradually crept back to the town of Derry and Henry bowers was dead asleep catching up on sleep, while Patrick on the other hand was awake since 4 in the morning hearing the voices that came to him after he took the pills and they mocked him,

'He'll never love you'

'You're just a toy'

'You're worthless'

'You killed Avery.'

'Daddy never loved you, he used you'

'You killed your mother.'

'You're a monster.'

Patrick eyes stung with regret, finally having a moment of clarity in his fogged mind seeing the truth that his mind conjured up.

Patrick hated the voices because what they told was true, he was a monster no matter what he did, Henry would never feel the same, he's against homos, from his multiple times of displayed disgust. Patrick had killed his brother, he's the reason his mother killed herself after she had killed his father who only used him for sick twisted desires. His mother didn't want to live with the guilt of letting the abuse happen right under her nose and she had took the coward way out of her situation.

His hands covered his ears gritting his teeth while scolding hot tears ran down his face, he wanted to be emotionless again, he didn't want the medicine to bring him down to his mental hell.

He wanted to be the aloof monster that he had become but the pills brought a side of him that needed to be drowned in the delusions. His clear un-fogged mind that splurged thoughts about how he'll never be happy and he's going to suffer in hell for the things he's done.

Henry stirred feeling the negativity and chilling atmosphere which caused Patrick to smile gently while the tears flew down his cheeks, decided to put a delicate hand on Henry's cheek and rubbed his thumb under Henry's black eye that was starting to look normal again after butch's abuse a day prior.

"I love you Bowers, even if you don't love me, your the only one who ever felt real to me." Patrick sighed and put his delicate lips to Henry's and let their lips be collided for a minimum of 4 seconds.

When he gazed at Henry's closed eyelids he leaned in and decided to go take another dose of the pills because every dose he took, the extra day Henry would stay, Patrick didn't want Henry to go yet, especially since he was petrified to go home and wouldn't admit it.

Patrick would just stroke his ego, letting the deal they bargained let Henry feel somewhat safe because Butch wasn't there to torment him.

But he was no matter what because Butch will forever haunt his nightmares. Making sure Henry would never escape his trap like his mother had.

Patrick knew that and he secretly wanted to keep Henry safe because one of these days Butch will kill him accidentally or not. Butch was a very fucked up individual who loves to take his pain and anger out on his only son, treating him like a door mat.

Patrick felt sympathy towards Henry especially after Butch had shot the ground in front of the petrified boy and proceeded to tell his friends that Henry was a sad pussy, especially after Henry started crying and pissed himself.

Patrick immediately strolled over to him and started to gently pet his hair causing the other two took a look towards Patrick with a confused look on their faces, Patrick could be nice and caring?

Belch and Vic mumbled how they were going to wait in the car while Patrick would murmur sweet nothings or parts of his favorite books in Henry's ear as to soothe him and it worked quite well because in a matter of moments Henry would just sniffle and just sat there.

Patrick knew that he loved Henry and was willing to go through this mental torment for him. If it meant that his inner demons screamed at him that he was a vile whore for letting his father abuse him, he was willing to do it all for the mullet wearing boy.

Patrick knew that Henry couldn't stay forever but he was damned if he was going to let him go, especially after that man humiliated him in front of the kids who sort of looked up to him thinking that he was the strongest out of all of them but he crumbled faster than a cheetah and Patrick knew that he was the only one who can fix Henry's pride somewhat and willing to make him feel as if he was a king.

But knowing Henry he'd probably make another deal or come up with an excuse not to go home and not deal with Butch because Henry would probably give up his own damn life before willingly go back to his hellhole.

The losers had never understood why they were the brutes they were and frankly they didn't care. They were assholes that didn't deserve a second chance for hurting them in their eyes.

But all wasn't as it appears to be for all the Bowers gang had their own problems with life and most looked to Vic for emotional support and Belch for a place to crash for a few hours.

But Patrick knew he didn't need anyone else but Henry and he was okay with just him.

Patrick knew he had to shower and make breakfast because he knew Henry probably had eaten as much as he slept especially at home with constant pain and fear haunting you like ghost in the shadows.

Patrick knew that Henry's depression was as heavy as a fur coat that he wrapped around himself as comfort in the dark and horrifying agony. Keeping him warm from the freezing temperatures of Butch's love for him, which was as dead as his heart.

Patrick stood and looked towards the broken boy with his own shattered point of view and he proceeded to go downstairs to make chocolate chip pancakes for both of them.

As Patrick cooked the pancakes he decided to turn on the television and he listened to the woman's voice that was dripping with sadness,

"Over 10 children have gone missing especially my Matthew, my precious three year old-" the woman assumed to be Mrs. Clements started to break out in blood curdling sobs and Patrick sighed as he glanced at the screen while he flipped the pancakes on the pan.

The man anchor on Derry news was glancing as Mrs. Clements had a mental breakdown over her young son. With a final glance he slammed the papers against his desk and coughed awkwardly and he stated while glancing at the camera that zoomed in,

"On that note all children under the age of 18 should- No, WILL be home before 7 and Derry is making this law for a curfew because we know that most of the children disappear after 8 PM." The man was cut off by a commercial playing and Patrick figured that since he and Henry are under 18 they need to be careful especially since Patrick didn't want anything bad to happen to the person that he actually cared for.

"Whatcha cooking?" A sleepy slur interrupted his thoughts and turned to the source of the sluggish response and saw Henry rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"I made pancakes." With that Patrick gave himself 2 and Henry 4 because Henry looked far too thin for his liking.

With a sigh from Patrick he dug into his breakfast along with Henry.