Love in a Time of Death

8 - It's not enough

Hi guys! I'm so sorry this took so long for me to upload, life has been hectic and my brain keeps going into this veggie state where I can't think properly because I'm so tired! Anyway, hope you like the chapter, feedback would be brilliant and wonderful :) Also, sorry in advance that Nick is taken his own sweet time to develop a little niceness!

This chapter's song is It's not enough by the Who.

 

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By Wednesday afternoon Jade was a nervous wreck. Nick seemed to have decided that watching her out of the corner of his eye during every train ride they shared was now more interesting than sleeping. Too bad for Jade, it turned her into a veritable basket case. Her chest felt permanently constricted, and it was as if claws were dragging through her skin from top to bottom, she felt so raw and exposed. 

Stop it! She wanted to scream at him.

Jade’s anger was slowly building like a pot left on a stove. It was starting to itch across her skin and take over her nervousness. She knew Nick was doing it on purpose, and she was getting close to getting over her inability to confront him and giving him a significant chunk of her mind, which might even include chucking her uneaten apple at his head. Which actually hurt like a mother...fudger, she knew from experience. Jade thought about changing carriages, but she couldn't let him think he’d won, not this time. So she did the only thing she could, and tried to pretend that he didn't exist.

It felt like she was stuck in a ring facing a 200 kilo sumo wrestler. She had no chance of winning with him, the guy was a pro at making people feel like shit.

Hipster guy actually made things a little easier. She never would've guessed it in a million years, but they seemed to have formed some strange alliance, and she found his presence next to her oddly comforting. They always exchanged smiles when he took his seat next to her, but would spend the rest of the trip in silence. Not that he would hear her if she tried anyway, because ever since Nick had freaked out on the train he had resorted to wearing those huge noise-cancellation headphones. 

Smart guy. 

Today Jade had foregone her usual trip to the library after class and decided to come home early. She just wanted one train ride free of skin-crawling-please-kill-me-now awkwardness, especially since she had her first training session at the hospital in a few hours. And holy shit, it had been the best train ride ever. She didn't recognise a single person. She simply buried her nose in her textbook and let herself fall into that feeling where your brain hurts from trying to piece together a bunch of complicated concepts, and you cannot for the life of you think about anything else. 

Maybe I should do that more often, she thought to herself as she walked up to her bedroom.

Lost in Jeff Buckley’s incredible voice and her own vivid daydreams, she was oblivious to everything around her as she shut the door and prepared to take off her skirt.  

“You really don’t want to do that.”

“ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!” Jade screamed hysterically and swung her fist through the air, hoping she wouldn't break her knuckles on her attacker’s face.

“Whoa! Jesus Jade, who the hell screams like that?”

“You – Y-You – “ Jade was clutching her hand to her heart as she struggled to slow her heart rate.

Sam cracked up laughing, “Oh man, you’re face, it looks like Nonna’s passata!”

“You pieces of shit!” She shrieked, “I nearly had a freaking heart attack!”