Love in a Time of Death

9 - I'm sick and tired

Hi anyone who's reading! I am so so sorry this took so long (again), I find it so hard to write when I can't get a significant chunk of time to sit down and do it. Fleeting moments are just not enough, and I find it super outrageous that my life won't let me have anything but fleeting moments...at the moment. (and I say I can write? Ha!). Well I finally finished this chapter after coming home from a disastrous shopping trip. There are only so many pairs of jeans a person can try on before they all start to look like evil aliens (i.e. they just don't look right, *sigh*). 

Also, I realised I had meant to do a dedication and fogot. This is for SweetRosebud, for being awesome!

Anyway, enough rambling, the song for today is Gimme Some Truth by John Lennon

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It was finally Friday. Halle-freaking-lujah.

Jade had just finished her last class of the semester, and instead of celebrating with her friends like a normal person, she was heading home to get ready for her last training session, where she would be meeting all the kids and their parents.

She would normally be more excited, but she knew that a certain someone would be there who would be glaring at her the whole time, willing her out of existence. And she was going to be nice to him. She felt like a masochist, but she knew she couldn’t give up yet. Don’t ask her why, but she hadn’t felt this determined about something in a long time.

Jade grabbed the mail as she usually did, but froze as she noticed the envelope sitting on top of the pile. She clenched her teeth together and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling something close to fear prickle down her neck.

Crap.

She managed to get herself inside and to her room, where she sat cross-legged on the edge of her bed staring blankly at the envelope clutched in a death grip in her hands. It was from Susan and Tom, Hamish’s parents.

Jade thought she’d dealt with the whole thing pretty well, but the guilt, it was the hardest to push away. She always made herself read every word Susan and Tom had to say in the letters they sent to her every month. They had to face the rest of their lives without their only child, the least she could do is read what they had to say to her.

Swallowing down the painful lump in her throat, she tried to focus her thoughts and get herself under control. She thought about Nick, he was losing his only child too. Was that where it was all coming from? Was there a chance that maybe, just maybe, she could amend for her past mistakes, just a little?

Amend for your past mistakes, she scoffed to herself. Like one thing can just cancel out the other.

She would do anything to take back her decisions on that day, but she couldn’t. Being there for Nick though, that was something she could do. Really, it was probably the least she could do. It wouldn’t make up for anything, but maybe it was one small step in the right direction.

Enough procrastinating.

She looked down at the letter again, wishing it would just disappear. She took deep breaths in and out, in and out, getting a hold of herself and pushing her emotions away until she felt almost nothing. Now she was ready to face the letter. Jade quickly slid her finger under the seal and pulled it out.

“Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg!”

Jade jerked in shock and slipped right off her bed, landing hard on her side with a thud. The envelope flew underneath her bed. Yelping in pain and letting out a number of colourful curses, she ran to pick up her phone. As she was answering, she noticed the time.