imperfections - grayson dolan

four

Honestly, I can't stop thinking about what Grayson had asked me. It's now late at night and I'm just laying awake, staring into the darkness that fills my room.

But, I feel a sense of happiness flow over my body, every time I think of him. Because not only did I say "yeah, sure" and that means I'm going on my first date, but he then replied with "I can't wait!"

I really do hope he is as excited about this, as he comes across. I wonder what my mum would think, her daughter finally getting a guy to talk to her.

She's always yelling at me, telling me to lose weight, eat healthy and then a guy would find me "hot". I try. I really do. I try to eat healthy and get a workout in every now and then, but I somehow find it hard to stay motivated when she's constantly telling me to "get off my ass!"

Some people would use those comments as motivation, but not me. I already have so much self doubt within myself, that it's a struggle to hear it from others too. Especially the woman who gave me life.

A guy has never told me he can't wait to see me. I can't blame them honestly, I mean, just look at me. I don't have a sexy body, a big butt, honestly I don't find myself the slightest bit attractive.

Then my phone dings, my heart begins to race, automatically assuming it's Grayson. Or at least I really hope it is.

Grayson: I'm not sure if you're still up, but goodnight beautiful. sweet dreams, I'll see you at school

Wow, this boy literally sent one goodnight message and I already want to let him own my heart.

Brooke: goodnight, grayson. I'll see you tomorrow x

Grayson: wait you're still awake? it's 2am haha

Brooke: yeah I am haha, I guess I'm just really happy with what happened before

I hesitated to click "send" at first, but it was the truth, so I said exactly how I felt.

Brooke: but I do have to ask you one question...

Grayson: and what would that be? you can ask me anything

Brooke: why did you give your number to me? like why me out of all girls? what do you see in me?

I'm so nervous to see his reply, that I start feeling like I need to go to the toilet.

I quietly get out of bed, creeping down the hall and open the bathroom door, trying my hardest to stay as quiet as I can. If my mum finds out I'm still awake, I'll literally be done for.

After my dad left when I was 4, she's always been so strict. I get the fact that being a single mother to a a little girl, can be hard, but now she's found another man and had my brother since then too. Plus, I'm 16 now, I've learnt to take care of myself.

I finish from the toilet and wash my hands. I come back to my bedroom, and notice a notification pop up on my lock screen, slightly lighting up my dark bedroom.

I get back into bed, stretch over and grab my phone off my nightstand.

Grayson: because you aren't like all the other girls. you are different, but in such a good way. you accept the fact you aren't the most popular girl and you embrace it for the things you're amazing at. like your musical talents. I've heard you in the music rooms, you have the voice of an absolute angel. I chose to give you my number, because I'd love to get to know you. plus I gotta add, you're really freaking beautiful, no matter what anyone else says.

Holy shit. Wow. Um I literally don't even know what to think. I'm so shocked that even my mind, that always overthinks, is actually lost for words for the first time in well... forever.

I've never felt this before, I can't even describe this feeling. It's like butterflies going crazy in my stomach, but so much more than that. Is this what it feels like to be loved?

Brooke: I'm honestly lost for words. I've never been told that before. I've never felt the way this message made me feel. Thank you grayson, I can't wait till thursday night ☺

And after pressing "send" I feel my eyes begin to close, and I slowly drift off to sleep, with a smile upon my face.

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-Eliana