The Thoughts I Could Never Say

To: My Mother

I Have always loved you. I tried to be just like you. It was never enough.

You found out about the cuts..

You called me selfish. You called me stupid. You called me sick and crazy. You wanted to send me away to some mental hospital.

Cutting myself, wanting to die was NOT selfish. What's selfish is you forcing me to stay here, making me stay here in this miserable hell when I want to die. What's selfish is making me stay because you want me here. You want me to stay for you. Not me.

It wasn't stupid. I'm NOT stupid. What's stupid is screaming and yelling and fighting me because you 'want me to get better' that doesn't make things better. It makes EVERYTHING 10 TIMES WORSE!

I'm not sick! Im not crazy! I don't want to be here! I don't want to live this life, just to die in the end and be forgotten! Let me leave.

Let me leave.

Let me die.

If you really love me, You'd let me die... because thats all I really want...