disappointment town / jjk

sixteen

"we need to talk about this," jiseo says. "this is kind of fucked up, okay? but— i want to make this work, i know you do too. i want us to work. so, please, kook, tell me, so we can make this work." jungkook feels his heart strings tug at the nickname she calls him, but he doesn't mention it.

jungkook scowls but he cooperates. "shit, this is kinda bad," he sighs.

"okay," he takes a deep breath. "uh, dad and i didn't really have that good father and son realtionship, you know? my mom, she left us and i was alone, dealing with an alcoholic dad. like i said, he wasn't abusive or anything, he's just— a handful."

jungkook gives her a look before ensuing, "it annoyed me how he didn't care about what i did— and when he did, it was always about the stupidiest things. like how i can't play piano as well enough as the other kids, like how i should focus more on my academics instead of sports and how i shouldn't befriend people who always cause problems."

jiseo wants to ask what problems his so-called friends caused, but she doesn't, she just listens. "if you remember, i mentioned i had anger issues, it's— it's not completely gone. i get pissed and it triggers it sometimes, so if i go over the line, you know why. basically i get mad sometimes but, yeah."

"i guess one day, i just.. kinda broke? i mean, my dad and i were arguing— practically screaming at each other. the anger issues weren't helping at all so i kind of, uh, shot him. fuck— that sounds messed up when you put it that way," jungkook shakes his head, looking away from jiseo. "the friends that i had, they were like— gangsters? i got along with them, so i stuck around, joining their activities every now and then."

"my dad got mad, but it's not like he cared that much. he just had a reputation to keep even though he was a drunktard at home. it— it doesn't really matter. this story isn't that interesting, basically i borrowed a gun from my friends, yada yada, shot him, made sure i left no traces, and ran away, joined the gang my buddies were in. yeah, pretty straightforward."

jiseo's stomach churns, she dislikes— no, she hates how jungkook sound so casual speaking about it. maybe she shouldn't be that surprised, but she is, because like yoongi said, she's utterly foolish. she admits that he sounds so insane but jiseo doesn't want to let him go. not yet. maybe not ever, if they can ever make this entire thing work. yet she knows it's unhealthy that she's getting so attached to him. he's mad, but they say all the best people are. is that really true?

she thinks of how she can stop all of this in one second, and how she can go back to a normal life where it was only her and yoongi. it has always been that way— not in a romantic aspect, that is. yoongi has stayed beside her ever since they met, and as time goes by, she feels like yoongi and her are drifting apart. it's as if the wall between them that has long been gone is coming back, instead this time it grows back with ice spikes and thorns.

but then, there's jungkook. jeon jungkook who looks at her as if she were the stars after the long dark. the person who makes her feel excitement and happiness rushing through her veins and how butterflies escape from the pit of her stomach as cliché as it sounds. she's hopelessly attached, and perhaps even in love, not completely but just maybe.

"i don't like how you say it so casually," jiseo replies, the corner of her lips curving downwards.

"what?" jungkook responds, eyebrows furrowing.

"sorry— i just— i need time to grasp all of this. it's not everyday you meet someone, uh, who did that to their father and—" before jiseo can finish, her sentence gets cut off.