disappointment town / jjk

eighteen

the bell on top of the door of the restaurant rings, indicating that a customer has walked in. jiseo's attention immediately turns towards the figure walking in. when she sees who it is, she can't help but feel a bit nervous. the tall figure walks towards her in his navy uniform that carried an aura that was filled with intimidation. namjoon has a slight frown on his face, the ends of his lips curve south, jiseo wonders what's bothering him.

"hey namj—"

"are you and kook okay?" he immediately asks and jiseo's eyes widen in surprise. how did he know? did jungkook tell him about it? she feels a lump forming in her throat, uneasiness crawling onto her nerves. just by hearing his name, she's reminded of the previous horrific night. a night filled with chaos, catastrophe and fear. namjoon stands at the other side of the counter, waiting for a relevant and reasonable answer.

"a simple hello or good evening would've been nice," the female says, trying to change the topic. the frown on namjoon's face, however, deepens.

"jungkook came to me yesterday."

jiseo huffs, she doesn't want to talk about it. "so?"

"jiseo, we need to talk," namjoon says, his voice turning more soft, "i— are you free right now? can we go outside and talk? it won't take long."

she wants to say no. "... okay." she steps out of the counter and makes a gesture for namjoon to follow her to the back door. she gives a glance at her boss, who just gives her a confused expression, she hopes she doesn't get in trouble.

"he called me yesterday. he sounded really frustrated, asked me if i wanted to drink with him," namjoon begins once he took the first step outside of the building. "he.. doesn't really drink. "

jiseo just nods as a sign that she's listening, even though she just wants the ground to swallow here right there. this place, the back of the restaurant she works at, reminds her of him. she remembers how he was wearing a black hoodie accompanied by a jacket, typing something on his phone. vulnerable and almost helpless, bruises and wounds, pain that he tried to hide behind the facade he put up. fuck, she curses. i miss him but i'm so fucking scared of him.

"—i mean, he can't get drunk and stay offguard, he has people who wants his head. so when he suddenly called me up for a drink, i was really surprised, shocked even. he— he sounded really sad too?" it comes out more as a question, the tone in his voice which sounds like he is unsure and puzzled. namjoon looks away, and jiseo feels the aura surrounding him fill with nothing but the color blue.

"when i reached his apartment, he was already a few bottles in. i asked him about it and he told me it was you, jiseo. but— he wouldn't elaborate about what happened between you two. he just kept saying he was really sorry about it."

jiseo thinks about how she never knew about jungkook's apparent apartment. i know nothing about him, why was i so head over heels for him? yoongi was right, she barely knows him. she doesn't know anything at all. she doesn't know what to think. there was a time where she thought about how lovely jungkook was, how beautiful he looked under the light of the moon sitting in the midst of the dim night sky, how he could make her feel giddy and tingly inside with just his plain presence.

now, at this point, she doesn't know what to think. perhaps she was unaware of the calamity hidden behind the boy with large pretty mesmerizing brown eyes and black hair that still looked stunning even if it was disheveled by the wind. perhaps she was too blinded by the smiles and giggles and laughs and all those sweet gestures that were able to drive her almost mad. when she looks at him now, the first thing she thinks of is fear, and she really hates herself for that. all she wants to do is look past all of this and run back to jungkook with a big smile, just like before, naive and ignorant. yet, she can't because fear is like knife in the gut that twists and churns.