Are you okay..? // O.J.R

// Four //

On the walk home I looked down at my boney fingers and smiled at myself. "Finally" I said. "I can be free again"

I walk in the big red doors to my too big of a house. I fix the strap of my school bag and kick off my small shoes and head up the stairs to my bedroom.

I sit on the queen size white bed in the big room. I start taking my clothes off, starting with the light brown blazer, the white button up blouse, the brown skirt, then the knee high white socks. I stare at my thin body with awe in the mirror. My pink laced elegant underwear showing off every curve, bone, and vain, on my pale thin white body.

I stare for what feels like hours until finally finding clothes to wear for my modeling tumblr page. Where I post all my thinspo for girls like me. Where I can feel pretty.

I put on my black fishnets with a white short skater skirt, a black crop top with with a singular rose right by the side of my chest. I slide on a pair of adidas.

My rib cage is showing. My thighs look huge. I feel so, fat.

I start taking pictures of myself in the mirror trying my hardest to look "aesthetic". 

"OWIVIA" I hear  "MUMMY WANTS YOUS".

I head down stairs to we're I see dinner sitting out with all of my siblings and my mother. My father is unsurprisingly still at work.

"Liv," my mom starts while taking a bite of the greasy high calorie steak. "Have you heard from Oliver yet today..?" And on that note I get up and leave.

"What's her problem?"  Amariah Asks.
"She misses her best friend and I'd like to not hear that tone from you. You know your sister is going through a lot right now Ami" My mother says loud enough that I can hear but trying to talk quietly.
"I think she's pregnant." Amariah states loudly.
"Amariah Lynn Rose! Stop right now!" My mother says firmly.
Having enough of their conversation I head up back into my room and start scrolling down tumblr.

// two hours later//

My phone rings, getting me out of my daze of staring at a girl so thin you could see her muscle definitions.
It's Oliver. I answer.
"Hello" I say
"hey liv, did you eat?"
"No. But never mind that. How is it over there?"
"It's fine, there's a lot of nice people here, and if I'm good I can get out in a few months. Maybe even a few weeks!"
"That's great. I really miss you Oli"
"I miss you too Liv."
We have meaningful chitchat about how my day went and how he hopes I start doing better at school.
Until his time runs out. Then, I'm alone again. Just Ana and I.