Philophobia

Chapter 5

"Justin-" I started.

"No, no. Ali, it's fine, I understand you have to look after Abby and a lot of things have been happening ever since your mom died. I get it." He smiled, but you could see the look of hurt set in his eyes.

"Justin, you really don't want to date me. I'm a complete and total disaster.... We've been best friends since kindergarden," I said, trying to understand, "what made you decide to tell me you were in love with me now?" My eyes filled with angry tears.

"Ali bear," Justin wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me in, "I know you're angry at your father, hell, I don't even know how you're keeping yourself together right now. But I do know that you're strong, and you can conquer any obstacle that puts itself in your way. Thats what I like about you most. That fire, that determination, you never give up, even if the odds are against you. You will get through this, and I'll be by your side, if you want, the entire way." Justin pulled me into a tight bear hug, picking me off of the ground.

After he set me down I looked up into his eyes, holding his gaze, "Wow... You would do that for me, really? Thank you, Justin, for everything."

Justin looked deep into my eyes, took my cheek into the palm of his hand, leaned in and kissed me. An electric shock went through my body when our lips touched. I was stunned for a second, but I was kissing back. I knew I didn't want to because of the risk, but I couldn't stop myself. I kissed him with the same force he kissed me, but there was more passion behind my kiss. He was passionate about it and we were both breathing heavily after the kiss came to a natural end.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine. There was a moment of silence before he chuckled to himself, "So much for taking it slow."

I pulled away, "You're right we shouldn't have done that." Abby walked in just then and smiled.

"Hey sweetie." I smiled at her and playfully ruffled her hair.

"Can I go to bed?" She rubs her drowsy eyes.

"Sure, I'll-"

Justin interrupts me, "No, let me put her to bed. Ali, you've been through a lot today. The least I can do is tuck her in." You could see the hurt expression on his face but it was brief before he turned to Abby with a big smile.

"Last one up there is a rotten egg!" They both bound up the stairs, laughing hysterically at each other. I smile, Justin is going to be a great father one day, I thought.

A few minutes later Justin walks down the stairs, and sits on the opposite couch. He rubbed his chin, obviously pondering something.

"I dont think..." He clasps his hands together and starts again, "I don't think I should've done that... I know what you're going through and you have a lot-"

"Wait... What?!" I replied, stunned, "Literally a minute ago, you couldn't wait to be with me and now you dont want to?" Confusion and hurt lined my face.

Justin stared into my eyes, confused by my outburst, "I didn't know you wanted it as much as I did.."

Our eyes locked, daring one another to look away.

"I.. Im scared.." I whisper, struggling to not break down. "Im scared that if i open up to you, I'll fall in love with you. I don't fall in love with guys, I don't. But if I open up to you, I'm afraid I will."

------------

Credits: i want to give a HUGE thank you to Alissa, aka my best friend for helping me out with this chapter. Also, Alissa is the main character, if ya didnt notice. Thank you for reading! Please give feedback :)