Philophobia

Chapter 13

"No." I shook my head furiously. "No. No. You're a perfectly healthy teenager."

Justin's eyes casted downwards. "I'm in stage 2 so they were glad that they caught it, but i do have it, Ali."

"No!" I shouted, tears stinging my eyes. "This can't happen! Not you too... You can't leave me!" I screamed, collapsing against the side of the pool.

Tears blinded my vision.

"Ali!" Justin yelled in a angry tone. "This is real and this is serious! You're always fucking thinking about yourself, take my feelings into consideration for one fucking second. Imagine how I feel. Did you ever consider that? I cry myself to sleep every night, god dammit!" He yelled.

He climbed out of the pool and grabbed a towel.

My chest tightened and it was hard to breathe.

"fucking bitch." He muttered under his breathe, walking into the side door.

my facial expression hardened. The anger and sadness inside me brewed, creating a mess of emotions.

I put my hands over my face and let out a sob.

Out of all the words, he had to choose that one.

A memory started appearing and I tried forcing it out of my mind but it had already started.

I was 14, a vulnerable age. I sat there on my bed, doodling on my notebook. Just then a door slammed, rattling the entire house. I tried ignoring it, but I knew what was coming.
Yelling, lots and lots of yelling.
"God dammit where's that stupid bitch?!" He slurred, throwing his empty bottle on the littered floor.
I was thankful that Abby was at her granny's for the weekend.
He pounded on my door, rattling my door knob violently.
"Didn't I tell you to fucking clean the house when I was gone?" He said drunkenly.
I sighed. "You told me to do the kitchen, it's spotless."
"You bitch, I said the house not just the kitchen!" He screamed. "God you can never do anything right!"
He continued in his drunken stupor. "I wish your mom would've gotten a abortion, like she was planning to, but she had to keep your dumb ass."
Tears were streaming down my face at this point and I was shaking my head.
"That's not true! I was not supposed to be a abortion!"

I shook my head, trying to get the images out of my head.

This couldn't happen to Justin. He couldn't be sick, much less have cancer. I shivered at the word.

If justin died, I didn't know what I would do. I didn't have a job. I wouldn't have anyone left except Abby.

He made me truly happy, I realized.

Tears threatened to surface again and I pressed my fingers to the insides of my eyes.

Be strong, I thought, for Justin.
I got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around myself.
Now I had to plan my next plan of action.

I sat down on the chair, biting my nails.
I decided on going for a jog, to get my mind off of things.

I crept into the house and walked up the stairs as quiet as possible. I snuck into my (temporary) bedroom and dug through the drawers for jog-appropriate clothes.

I pulled out sweats and a tank-top and grabbed my earphones and phone.
I tied my shoelaces and yelled, "I'm going on a jog!"

I waited and listened but all there was was deafening silence.

Then, I jogged. I jogged until my lungs burned and my legs cramped. I put all of my aggression into the jog, and got burning in return.

The burning was a fairly new feeling, since I didn't go running often.
Well, I thought, nows a good time to start.

I stopped and sat on a bench and took in my surroundings.

The view was breathtaking. Leaves were hunter green and the sun was shining in the mid-afternoon light. People walked and ran with dogs on leashes, children played. Couples held hands, the woman excitedly telling him something. He grinned in return.
I sighed and turned away, getting up.
I started walking back towards the house, knowing I had to face Justin some time.

"Alissa!" A voice I recognized all too we'll rang out.

I stiffened.

It was my father.