change → chris schistad (skam)

+ twenty two +

[lowercase and text talk intended wherever it is]

// yearning and youthful //

[Monday 6:45]

"Okay, I've had it with you and your self-loathing. Get your ass up." Sana's voice strode into the room, the words like the thunder and clouds taking over a cool night.

I didn't bother to open my eyes and acknowledge her unfortunate presence at my house for the 6th time in the last three days. She made it her obligation to show up every morning and every evening in hopes of getting me out of bed.

"I can't." I stated unenthusiastically making no attempt to argue with her, the sound of seagulls flying towards the beach and the cool wind against the windows indication enough that it was way too early in the morning.

"You've stayed in the same spot for three days. Have you even showered?" Her booming voice once again too loud for the lightless and soundless room.

"No." I mumbled into the pillow silently wishing that she'd leave already, she was already two minutes too long over her customary stay.

I listen to her sigh followed by some shuffling and the sound of metal scraping. I open my eyes and turn towards the sound only to be hit by the blinding golden sun rising just out in the horizon.

"For fuck's sake!" I swore loudly, covering my eyes with my hands and shaking my head in an attempt to get the unforgivable light out of my head and my retinas.

"I've let this go on for too long. You're going to get up and you're going to beat your face, put an outfit on, go to school and be Camilla again. " Seconds later, the covers were snatched off of me and I was met with the face of Sana, irritably watching at me.

"I can't." I told her my voice nearly breaking as I remembered the events of Friday.

"You can and you will." She softened her voice as she sat on the edge of my bed and looked at me, "Has he called?"

I shook my head and sank back into the pillows, "William sent me a texting saying he was sorry but I don't know what for."

"Probably because his best friend is a Grade A dick." Sana rolled her eyes which got a low laugh from me in return.

"I just wish things had gone differently. I wished I had answered his texts. I wish I hadn't left him that morning. I wish I hadn't been so stupid." I sighed and played with my cuticles, picking at the peeling spots around my nails.

"You're not stupid. You're a girl in love. It happens, you'll get through it." Sana smiled at me and clutched my hand squeezing it tightly, "Now, get the fuck up."

I laughed and pushed myself up with my hands, shaking my messy hair out of my face. I took a glance at myself in the mirror, by the door and I cringed. I looked like I had been living in the sewers for 2 weeks.

"I'll wait for you downstairs. Hurry up, though. I can't miss trig." Sana called back at me as she shuffled towards the door.

"Hey, Sana." I called after her as she hit the door, "Thanks. For everything."

She opened her mouth to reply but shut it again, only closing her eyes for a split second and then opening them to give me a small sincere smile. She nodded at me and tapped the wooden door frame, signaling that she was leaving.

[Friday 10:34]

I strenuously scribbled down notes on the binder expertly placed in my legs that were criss-cross atop the girls and I's usual window sill.

"You know, everyone's talking about what happened on Friday." Ville broke the silence that was among our group, no one quite sure of what to say to me.