It's been three days since my brother died and we were going to have his funeral soon. I'm still upset and don't want to go to school. I don't even know how I will look at eduardo. I really appreciate him comforting me but i'd rather be left alone for a while. My parents said that I didn't have to go, but I insisted that I would miss information for exams so I wanted to go. It's not like this is my first time not wanting to go to school and end up going. Once I got to school I just went and started to walk on the track. I wore a bright pink neon sweat shirt so eduardo wouldn't recognize me. But I knew of course I would have to face him in owl lady's room. I just hoped he would know how I feel and leave me alone. The bell rang and I walked into class. Eduardo walked in looking disappointed until he seen me. When he sat down he asjed me if I was fine, why'd I come to school, and that he was sorry. I didn't answer and he got the message and said sorry again in a low voice. I said it was fine never looking up from my paper. Even though I wanted to be left alone I wasn't but thank god he didn't speak to me. I didn't want to be rude but I just didn't want those memories lingering in my head. But after seeing joshua's practicaly dead body in my mothers hands and having to hear he was dead by the doctor it was burned in my mind replaying and replaying. But even though how badly I wanted to cry I didn't. But days after that I didn't mind eduardo start to talk to me and he comforted me alot. I started wearing all plain black not that much different from my usual look of dark clothing though. We held a funeral for joshua having his tombstone say
" joshua anthony ramirez june 17, 2001 ~ november 15, 2009
Having one of the most talented, beautiful kids god could ever make with a strong will to fight. To be in our family. We will love you dearly ~love your parents and older sister kat"
Having paid my respects I whispered I love you one last time and left.
