Why Me...

Ch.10 What are we..

Evan's pov
When I wake up with Jon in my arms I panic a little, but remembering the events of the night before I relax. I get up without waking Jon up and go to the bathroom. When I see me self in the mirror, regret and anger builds up inside me'

'How can I do this to him, he is such a good and honest person. That is in love with you. He can't see you ugly lies. All he sees is the painting you put over yourself.'

I sigh and walk back to his bedroom. He is now awake and only has a pair of jeans on. Although it may not be noticeable, my cheeks get hot looking at his bare chest. I never noticed how in shape he was. He meets my eyes and his face turns scarlet which was very noticeable.

"Hey, I heard you get up, did you sleep okay?" He asks rubbing the back of his neck and smiling shyly.

"Perfectly.." I say. I walk up to him and cup his face and plant a kiss on his lips. I can feel his smile against mine, and despite how guilty I feel I smile too not wanting this moment to end.

"Okay well I've got to get ready for school and so do you!" Jon says and pushes me playfully. I chuckle and nod. He puts a shirt on and his blue zip up hoodie.

I threw on my jeans from the night before and a random T-shirt I packed in my book bag. Jon and I put on our shoes and I use his mirror to gel my hair. He walks up behind me and smirks at me.

I don't know what he expected, my hair isn't naturally this way. I turn around lift him off his feet, he yells and giggles and I sit him down. His smile could illuminate the entire world!

...and yet because of Tyler, because of me, because of my actions I may not see that smile for long.

"What's wrong..." he asks and puts his hand on my cheek.  I give a small smile and kiss his forehead. He is amazing and yet to save myself I am hurting him in unimaginable ways.

"Nothing could possibly be wrong with you in my life." His smile stretches from ear to ear. We finishing getting ready and head downstairs. His mom and dad are already sitting at the table eating breakfast.

"Your donuts are in the fridge, and your instrument is by the door, along with your keys to the house," his mom said in between sips of coffee. "Remember Jonny we won't be here tonight, going out to enjoy some us time, take care. The number for pizza is on the fridge along with Chinese take out number and your favorite order. And you know where we keep the emergency money so if you need it." She nods to him and he smiles

"Thanks mom, you're the best" he says and kisses her on the cheek and grabs his donuts. He goofs off with his dad and tell a quick story with his mom. They smile and laugh and look like such a happy little family.

I wish my family was like that, that I could be close with my mom. My family is a wreck and I want to escape. Jon is my only way to escape.

"You ready?" Jon asks and nods towards the door. I nod and wave goodbye to his parents. His mom gives me a hug and she whispers in my ear.

"Please take good care of him, don't hurt my baby.." she was barely audible but the words sounded like speakers in my mind.

It was a warning, she knows what kind of person I am. She knows what I'm capable of.

"Come on Evan we're gonna be late," Jon says I nod and smile at his mom like she didn't say anything. She stares into my soul and I let her words sink in...

We get in the car and breathe, I didn't realize I was holding my breath.

"Everything okay?" Jon asks puts his hand on my shoulder. I smile and start the car.

When we get to school Jon waited to get out or to even speak...

"Evan, did you make that deal with Tyler...?" Jon looks at me with questionable eyes. I can't tell him the truth, because then I won't get
My chance.

"Jon-"

"I knew it, Anne was right, you don't care-"

"Jon!" I grab his hand and lock the doors

"Let me go Evan! Unlock the door!" Jon says through tears

"Jon, I didn't make the deal, Tyler gave me an option, I declined, Jon I declined... because I care about you!" I say, I didn't notice I was crying as well, and I don't know if they are fake or not.

"How much do you care...?" He asks, his blue shine with tears.

I grab his cheeks and kiss him as passionately as possible, and it was amazing. His lips are soft and warm and taste sweet. They remind me of home.

And for a split second I can imagine my future and his lips, his smile, he, is in it...

"So much, I would have gave up Hockey for you, luckily coach knows how much the team needs me... Jon you are my everything..." I say, and surprisingly most of it is true...

"What are we Evan..?" Jon asks

"We are falling for each other, and it's not a bad thing." I smile and he returns it with his own breathtaking smile. I kiss him again and again and again, until I make him laugh and push me away.

We walk to school together and start the day together with each other by our sides

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