Chapter 1
January 1st 2012 Monday
He doesn’t notice me no one does no one knows the pain the suffering I am going through they don’t know of the emotional and physical pain I have endured I have cut every single night since she came into our life’s since I saw his eyes light up when he saw her I cover the scars with bracelets and a watch the boys all think it’s for fashion but I don’t give a shit about fashion it’s just another reason to feel insecure about yourself just another reason to di-
“Hey Ni what you doing” my door swings open to show me the always happy care free Louis don’t do this Niall just do as your told smile and laugh that’s all you have to do so they don’t ask questions
“Nothing just drawing Lou” I smile and close the book
“Oh ok well the rest of the lads thought we should go out for lunch” Louis looks at me expecting me to dance around an giggle like a school girl
“oh cool can we go to Nando’s” good work Niall keep going I know you’re not hungry but just pretend you can throw it up when you get home like usual
“of course anything for our little Nialler” Louis winked an closed the door leaving me alone well not fully alone I still had Cody that little voice in my head I talk to that one person that understands I grabbed my diary an placed in the safe I had under my bed next to my spare razor and the painkillers I had when I chose to attempt last year while at X-Factor but Cher stopped me since then she always checks up on me
“NIALL LETS GO LIAMS MEETING US THERE” I smiled and ran down stairs an out into Louis’s car
I watch as rain drops trail down the window Louis holds on to Harry’s hand they may not be together but they act like it I slide my finger under my jumper sleeve feeling the bumps of the scars knowing where the old and new one’s lay
“Niall are you ok you look a little pale” I turn to see Zayn and Harry looking at me I bite the inside of my cheek and nod
“Yeah I’m fine just hungry I guess” Niall your slipping stop biting you cheek smile banter with Zayn do anything don’t let them know you’re in trouble just breath you can do this call Cher
I pulled out my phone and got in to messages
CherBear-
Can we talk later having some problems come around 7 if you can- Nialler xx
I placed my phone back in my pocket an sighed why me why did I have to end up like this it’s all his fault an hers but I can’t hurt her she is so friendly an nice she didn’t do anything bad well at least that she knows of an the same with him he doesn’t even know he’s hurting me no one knows except for Cher ‘don’t forget about me Ni’
‘Whoops sorry Codes’
“Niall what are you doing” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at a confused Zayn
“Sorry just thinking lets go” I stepped out of the car and ran into Nando’s not waiting for the others ‘good work Ni just smile when you see Liam run up hug an get back to eating ‘
I bite my lip his name making me feel dizzy i close my eyes and take deep breaths ‘Ni what’s wrong’
‘Codes I feel weak’ suddenly i feel myself fall into darkness in to numbness no pain no hurt just Nothing...
To Be Continued
