Winter 1978
"I'm nervous Linds, what if they say no" we've petitioned the state home to have Connor stay with us until he can be found a permanent home. Unbeknownst to them Verena Stone is working with us and Marvin to ensure that WE are his new permanent home. It's a gamble but if everything goes well we can officially have our rights as parents re-instated by the beginning of next year. Today we're going in for an interview with three state administrators to determine our "fitness" to look after a child. I have to say I find this agency more and more amusing by the day.
"Don't worry sweetheart, Verena read us the questions she prepped us for this. You me and Connor are off to Hawaii in seventy-two hours for a weeks vacation followed by Christmas back at our house. Just relax" the door to the meeting room creeps open and we enter sitting in matching chairs across from three of the least friendly looking people I've ever seen. Appearances leave nothing to be desired as they commence to grilling us about every aspect of our lives from our past drug use to our time as hippies when we were in Fritz and Buckingham Nicks.
They ask some of the most personal questions I could ever imagine including the frequency of our "marital intimacy" that's the one question I put my foot down about. Firmly, but politely. After scratching notes and whispering for twenty minutes we're called back before them, and while they're not overly thrilled with our lifestyle or profession they can't say we're unfit. "Just recognize that in spite of your paternal claims to Hunter you are not automatically considered to be the set of guardians best for his situation. You've already given him up once, he's not a toy at a supermarket that you can pick up and return on a whim, he's a child. A precious life that should be cherished, don't take it lightly" my face flames and only Stevie's hand on my arm keeps me from laying into that overblown windbag after his hypocritical little "speech".
The state let him be adopted by drug dealers, how precious they consider him seems to be fleeting based on their quotas.
Who cares we're going to Hawaii with our son! Mick, John and Christine tease us about a second honeymoon when they hear. They don't know about Connor yet, we can tell them once the adoption is over with. It's almost like a dream when we're away, Connor has warmed up to both of us and has taken to his ASL lessons with gusto. He's keen to learn and retains what he's taught so easily it's as if he has a photographic memory, which he likely inherited from his uncle Greg.
We build sandcastles and go to beach BBQ'S, at our rented bungalow we sit outside and gaze at the stars watching the surf roll in and out. After Connor's put to bed Stevie and I make love on the beach, in our room, in the lagoon, anywhere we can really. I feel like a newly wed and Stevie's caught up in the spirit of it just like I am. The only thing I miss is having Connor know who we are, as far as he knows we're still just really nice strangers taking him places and watching him. It would be nice to put him to bed and have him sign "Goodnight Daddy" instead of "Goodnight Lindsey".
Maybe by Christmas we'll have good enough news from Stone to tell him who we really are.
***
1997
"I don't believe you hid this from me! I'm your fiancé and you have a fucking kid with your EX that I didn't know about? That's bullshit Lindsey and you know it" she would decide to stick around and meet Denny, just to spite me I'm sure. Who cares if we're going to be "married" she needs to get used to him, "Marlena, can you make sure we have enough Nesquick? The strawberry kind Denny likes that one" our part-time cook hustles around after me as I set cookies on a cooling rack. I used to bake cookies in high school...pot cookies, but if you don't put the hash oil in they're still pretty damn good.
