Here we are once again, a court house in downtown LA. But this time we're not fighting some injunction, or suing a concert promoter for lost sales, we're here to sign the papers and make Hunter Beck Connor Buckingham once again. My son's my son again. And pretty soon I'll be a new father a grandfather and AARP age all at once. Resting a hand on Stevie's belly I can't help the broad smile on my face when my little girl kicks at my palm. We haven't decided on a name, not yet and I'm not going to jinx things by being pushy. Stevie's happy with me, and we're on the cusp of being a married couple with our own family. What I've always wanted, and what Stevie thought she'd never have again.
Through the coke and the booze, the fights, the anger, the regrets. The blow out fight we had when I quit the band is so far in my memory I can't even smell the hairspray dripping from my forehead anymore after peeling my face off Mick's car. It was a crazy day, but the 80's were a crazy time. One more step in line and we're at the registrars office, reaching out for Connor's ID he wipes a spot of grease from his shirt "Hunter Beck, oh you're here to do a name change" his glasses are thick enough to pick up Russian spy satellites.
"Change back, he was born Connor Buckingham" the man shrugs wiping grease on the lapel of his jacket "Five-hundred dollars for a name change, sixty three dollars in state taxes, and one hundred dollars to get your social reassigned by Uncle Sam" beaming Connor reaches into his back pocket but Stevie stops him "Honey, daddy and I can get it for you" looking back at me then down at Stevie Connor blushes "Momma-I can pay for it" it's not a question of money for Stevie or me, "Son, we're the reason your name changed in the first place." Looking as bored as any kid in a courtroom Denny grabs my had swinging it back and forth.
"I know, but I want to. Please." I have to stop Stevie from any further insistence, I think I can understand why he wants to pay. He's getting his life back on his terms, not so long ago he was beholden to the desires of others with no say so in the matter. This is an opportunity to be in control of his fate "Okay kiddo" I'm not going to push it further than that I'm to happy that he's back in our lives to make it an issue "I know you can pay momma, but I have to make my own way eventually for me and Denny. That starts today"
Rolling his eyes the registrar hands over the requisite papers and we witness the signatures watching with pride as our son doles out the fees in crisp new bills. Denny's eyes go wide as he signs to Stevie "That's a lot of money" my fiancé runs a hand through his chocolate brown hair gently, tears dripping from her eyes in pride "Congratulations, you're now Connor Nicks-Buckingham. And he's now Dennis Nicks-Buckingham" that pronouncement throws me completely off guard, I thought he was going with my last name. Thinking back to our conversation after the bar b que it crosses my mind that his decision to take both of our names is a tribute to both of us. Equality and all.
Laughing Stevie grabs Connor's neck the two of them hugging "I wanted to surprise both of you" well I'm surprised and happy "That's why it was so expensive, two names and changing Denny's last name too. Connor...buddy that's-" shit I'm about to cry, coughing I play off the emotion turning away with my hands in the pockets of my slacks "Who's hungry?"
***
Three years later
"Briana! Lunch is ready sweetheart!" my two and a half year old daughter toddles into the kitchen a bundle of energy. Stevie beams with pride as I follow behind her my face covered in make up "Oh God Lindsey! What are you two doing?" Briana jumps up and down pulling at my hand "Playing dress up!" yes dress up. Or as I see it, put as much glitter and make up on daddy as humanly possible. This is almost as bad as when Carol did it to me in the tusk era. Of course I love Bri, I never really loved Carol. Tutting softly Stevie wipes away as much of the colorful make up as she can using a dishtowel.
