Don't give up on me - JJK & KTH (complete)

S

''He's in his room'' Yoongi was holding their heavy door open for me, there was a heavy aura in the apartment. It felt like a lot of tears had been shed here over the past few days, it felt like there had been a lot of shouting, heavy and hurtful words that was still flying in their air like specs of dust. It felt like I needed to be careful where I planted any of my already soft steps, trying not to make any sounds from the creaky floor. I nodded at Yoongi, not daring to speak, not trusting my voice at this point. I was scared, even though I had just seen a picture of the beautiful wingless angel, I was scared to see him, scared the he looked like a broken mess. 

The door was silent when I opened it, I didn't knock, I felt like knocking would be too disturbing. I could smell the alcohol linger in the air, as soon as I stepped my foot into his space. This was the first time I was here, and I had not expected anything less. His bedsheets were a pretty silk, on his nightstand an old school radio, that was silently playing soft Jazz, a clean modern lamp beside the radio was the only light on in the room, forming a bubble around the boy, covering him in a warm yellow light streak. Along the wall was 6 closets, all 6 build into the wall not taking any floor space from the already small room. But surely filled with designer clothing, color coordinated, and neatly hanging on what was properly expensive bronze hangers. I couldn't imagine anything less. 

I made my way to his bed, sitting down on it lightly, not putting too much weight on the madras yet, not quite ready to feel that comfortable in here. Not when the tension was so clear, my long fingers slowly found his shoulder, caressing it slowly I felt him relax a bit, the shoulder fell a little, just enough to notice. ''Taehyung?'' my voice was barely above a whisper and I was nervous he didn't hear it. It took him 30 seconds, before he turned around, his eyes still closed ''lay with me?'' he asked just as silent, I think both of us were quite scared that a wall would fall if we spoke too rough, too loud. 

''you know the thing about always being the strong one, means that whenever you need others to be as strong as you were, they're not. They're not there for you, to be strong for you, like you were for them'' we laid facing each other, Taehyungs eyes were closed, his hands securely tucked under the side of his face, working as a pillow. Our legs were tangled together, yet we kept at distance, not entirely closing the gap between us, though my left hand still laid on his neck, caressing the back of his neck, softly tugging his short hair, trying to keep my breath steady. His words were heavy, meaningful and spoken without a breath for air, words I had to think about for a few minutes before answering, though they didn't need an answer. 

''It all feels a little pointless at times doesn't it? being strong for others. When in the end you find yourself alone, slowly drowning'' Taehyung opened his eyes and caught mine in a strong gaze. I didn't mean for such an response, more of a soft hug of words, that would warm him up a little, but it became something else, something I could see now that he understood, his eyes were speaking, telling me that yes it felt pointless, everything felt pointless. 

''You don't let people in do you?'' I asked him my gaze never leaving his. Our eyes communicated, whilst our hearts spoke as well. I never experiences him like this through text, a constant attitude showing someone who he tried to be, being able to hide his true self, behind an imaginary self made, fake personality. 
''No. I don't believe in giving pieces of my heart, my soul, myself away for love. I don't trust people enough to do that anymore'' his gaze fell then, not daring to keep focused on my still strong one. And I saw a few unshed tears linger in the bottom of his eyes, threatening to fall, to show a weaker side, a side he always made sure to hide completely. 

''But..'' he hesitated, before continuing. The tears now falling, yet he found my eyes with his again ''I need you. I fucking need you'' his voice cracking roughly and it bored right into my soul, he was weak and he showed every single detail of the weak him to me in that moment. Breaking apart under my fingers, slowly letting all the tears fall onto the soft white silk beneath us. And so he closed the gap, pressing his entire, burning hot body to mine ''I need you so much'' he whispered into my chest, looking so small curled into my embrace. My arms curling around him, hugging him, pulling him even closer, making sure that he felt loved, protected. Making sure he could feel my warmth like I could feel his.

''I'm right here. right here, always''