Sweeran One-Shots

But Tonight I Want To Hold You So Close

AN: Originally posted on my tumblr in September. Wanted to give you guys something while I'm busy. :) This is inspired by the last night of Nashville of the tour. Enjoy. 

The tour was over, officially over. How had sixty-six shows over six months go that fast? This tour had been my favorite, or maybe it was my favorite because it was the most recent? But it had truly given me so many amazing memories. I had come into the tour feeling not so good about my self, confidence low, but the tour picked that up. Of maybe it was the name on the ticket with me - Ed Sheeran.

Getting to tour with your best friend is so unique, so fun. I think because you can always have someone there that understands what it’s all like. My band and I were so close too, most have been with me for a majority of my career now so we were all really family at this point. Having Ed though, that was different. He was always making me laugh and making my days brighter. But tomorrow, he’d go back to the UK to finish his album and come back in a month to play three sold out shows at MSG, something so beautiful that I couldn’t wait to see! It also began the span of time where who knows when we’d see each other again. It was bittersweet. I was so proud and happy for him, but I didn’t want the tour to end.

As the party began to wrap up for the band, dancers, and crew; I said my final goodbyes and grabbed my bag - ready to go home and cuddle up with Meredith. Exhausted, but in a good way. I have a small wave to the group that was left and headed to the waiting car. Running footsteps were following me, I turned to see who they belonged to.

"What’re you doing, Ed?" I asked, looking at him.

"I didn’t want to say goodbye to you infront of everyone. Besides, I was thinking maybe I could finally get you to watch lord of the rings tonight?" He smiled at me.

I shook my head and laughed, “Nah, I think I’m just gonna go to bed.”

"I’m coming." He started to follow me.

"Fine." I said as I glanced back at him with a smile.

When we finally got to my condo, I dropped my bags and took a quick shower. I came out dressed to find him sitting on my bed, waiting for me to talk. “It’s late, Ed, can’t we do this in the morning?”

"You’re avoiding saying goodbye to me, Swift." He followed me down the stairs to the kitchen. I thought about that comment.

"I suppose you’re right." I took out two glasses from the cabinet and filled them with water. I handed one to him and sat down on the couch. He sat down next to me.

"I’m gonna miss you Tay, I loved this tour but you’ll see me again. We can Skype and I’ll text you everyday. I promise."

"Yeah, sure." I sighed and leaned to put my cup down and then I leaned into him.

"We’ll have to maybe do this again someday."

"Oh definitely, tonight won’t be the last time I share a stage with you." He smiled and slipped his arm around me.

"Ed, thank you for making this tour so wonderful."

"No, thank you for asking me!" He smiled at me. I smiled back before letting out a very large yawn.

"You should go to sleep, Tay, I’ll go." I nodded and proceeded to get up. I pulled him into a hug, and I held him close to me for quite some time before pulling away, tears in my eyes.

"Or you could stay?"

"I could, but I have a bed not too far away, Swift." He laughed.

"Sleep in my bed, it’s not like we haven’t done that before. Ed, we slept in the same bed countless times falling asleep during NCIS marathons and when we were up late in random cities passing the guitar around. It’ll be just like that, Ed." He nodded with a small smile and we went back upstairs. I got into bed and rolled to my side, facing away from him. I felt him move around, trying to get to a comfortable position. I thought about him as I was falling asleep and how much he means to me. What if everything I had looked for and wanted was right in front of me the whole time? What if he was supposed to be more than my best friend? Sure I had thought about it in the past when I had found myself feeling butterflies and pure comfort in his eyes, and sometimes by the way he blushed back at me there might have been small mixed signals. I sighed as I rolled back over, to find his eyes shining wide open facing mine.

"Tay-"

"Shhh, don’t speak." I whispered. What would the fallout be if I let myself cross the five inch gap? If it was the wrong choice, we’d have a month to figure out the consequences of it on our friendship. I moved me hand up to his cheek. "Ed? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?"

"I’d like to be." Even in the dark, I could tell a smile was on his face. I took that as a good idea and scooted a little closer, I hesitated for a brief second before I kissed him gently.

For a fraction of a second, our lips touched. For a fraction of a second, I was scared as hell. For a fraction of a second, it all felt alright. I pulled back and looked at him.

"Ed, I-I just, I felt like that needed happen." I closed my eyes and waited for a response. There wasn’t ones but his lips met mine again, and his tongue pressed my lips for entry. Our tongues met as he deepened the kiss, moving his hand to my hip and rested it on the bare skin exposed between the leggings and tank top. Finally, he pulled away. That second kiss was so awkward, but so perfect. If I was thinking of it as just a kiss - perfect. If I was thinking of it as kissing my best friend - so awkward that it felt sour.

"Kissing you is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile." He said softly.

"Really?" I said, almost in shock.

"I didn’t think you noticed or even really felt the same. I’m so not your type, you’re so out of my league that why would you ever want me?"

I started laughing uncontrollably. “Oh, Ed. Shut up, you’re amazing and handsome and talented and just shut up. Why wouldn’t I want you? I guess it just takes some time. I didn’t realize I wanted this until now, I suppose, when you’re going to be gone.”

"It is a little awkward."

"A little awkward? Ed, before today you’ve been my best friend, but it’s so awkward!"

"It’ll be awkward for awhile I suppose, until we can stop hiding what we’ve been denying." I smiled at that and laughed a little more.

"Ed, what if this ends? I can’t lose my best friend. I value you too much to let this end in heartbreak." I felt tears now.

"I think we should’ve think like that, I think we should just see what happens. You’ll always be my best friend, I promise, even if this ends." He smiled and kissed my nose. I laughed again.

"But realistically, the distance? We won’t be seeing each other much. And just the pressure from the media? There’s a million different things that will be going against us. It’s not practical, we should stop now while we can still save our friendship." Tears returned.

"Taylor, you can say that and want that but what are you thinking about?"

"How nice it’d be to kiss you again." He smirked back at me and our lips met for a third time.

"Ed, we really should end it now."

"We should, but I don’t want to."

"I don’t either, but lets talk more about it before you leave tomorrow evening." He kissed me with persuasion and passion, care and a sexiness I had never realized that was there. I let him roll us over, so his body was pressing against mine, our hands wandering and our toes tickling. There was so much confidence in the way he moved against me, that the awkwardness from the first few kisses went away. He pulled away, with one hand on my cheek and the other gripping my hand and looked at me so sweetly.

"Taylor, I think we should go to sleep now, before…." He said with a smile and a laugh.

"Yes, good idea." I kissed him one more time before he cuddled me close and we laid there in silence together, friends first and now apparently two people on the verge of a relationship. We both new the end of the tour was coming and didn’t want it - wished the time would slow. But now, we both knew and realized that come the morning, we’d have to say goodbye and that we couldn’t delay it anymore.

Tonight, holding each other close is all I suppose we could do.