Breathe

Chapter 5

The class seemed to go on for years. I tried hard not to meet his deathly gaze. It was weird because I could feel the intensity of his stare even from a few seats away. Yes, he was only six seats beside me. Lucky me.

Usually C.S. is somewhat amusing, considering the people in my class. But today everyone seemed to be in a bad mood. I know it's just this gloomy Monday weather, but still I could use some distraction.

When the bell rang I shot up from my seat and practically ran down to homeroom. When I finally arrived only about half the class was there. Jasper wasn't here yet though. Good, I had time to adjust myself and focus on homework.

I plopped down in my seat and pulled out my Lit. folder. I sifted through the endless amount of completed homework and scrap papers. I tucked a piece of limp hair behind my ear. Finally, I plucked out the "Understanding Tone" worksheet and placed it on my desk.

I pulled the pencil from my agenda and scribbled down my name and class hour. First question, "How would you describe the tone of a mystery story?" I tapped the pencil on my cheek. Mystery? ugh I never did well with mystery. I was too curious for my own good and couldn't for the life of me let things continue as mysteries.

Mystery. It reminded me of Jasper. He presented himself to be a cool, laid back boy. But seeing the darker side of him showed me how diverse he really was. It intrigued me, while at the same time I didn't want anything to do with him.

Why am I thinking of him? Especially when I'm doing my Lit. homework. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity and continued the worksheet until I had only one question left.

I finished the paper and stretched my neck leaning back farther and sighing in satisfaction that I had one last thing for homework tonight.

All the sudden I got this really weird feeling. It was uncomfortable, like someone was sizing me up. I turned my head to the door. No one. I turned to look behind me. No one. But something did catch my eye, more like someone. To my right Jasper sat with his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. His eyes on me. Now locking with my own.

I cleared my throat and gave him a dirty look. It didn't phase him though. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"What do you want?" I asked a lot harsher than I intended.

He shrugged and glanced down at my paper.

"What's that?" He asked pointing to the piece of paper.

I gave him a confused look but answered anyway. "Its my Lit. homework, why?"

He nodded slowly. His face still etched in a serious expression.

"Are you okay?" He asked randomly.

I frowned, no I'm not okay. I haven't been okay since that night. I never will be. I'm tired and broken and angry. I feel like any moment now I could just burst into tears and curl in a ball and just wait for death. But I chose the best answer.

"I'm fine" I attempted a fake smile but it didn't come about as easily as the others I plastered on today.

He nodded again, but I could see the uncertainty in his blue eyes. He wasn't one to be fooled easily.

The way he stared at me made me feel like he was trying to read me or something. It was like his eyes went right through my gradually growing walls and exposed my feelings. I really didn't like it.

I looked away and straightened my things as the bell was about to ring soon. I could still feel the same uncomfortable feeling. He must still be staring at me.

I bit my lip. How did he know that I wasn't happy? Usually no one ever notices and if they do I blow it off and they forget. It's always that simple and easy. No one ever bothered to get into detail about my feelings. Especially not since the incident.

That night. My stomach did flips whenever I thought of it. I could vividly hear her pleads for help and the crashing of plates and the booming sound of the ashtray flying across the room and hitting the wall. I saw it. I saw everything.

I felt my eyes prickle with tears. I sucked in a sharp breath and forced my eyes closed, preventing any visible tears. It's over now, he's gone. I chewed on my bottom lip and waited anxiously for the bell, my eyes still squeezed shut.

Relief washed over me when it did.

I made my way into the halls and gathered all my stuff.

Finally, time to go home.