Elle

Chapter 8

I'm not really much of a party person, nor much of a dillon person either. I don't know anything really about this party and I don't know who Dillon's brother is either. Maybe it won't be so bad, it's not like one of those parties Cassie should go to and get high. It's a birthday party. I don't know what I should do; I don't even know why I'm over thinking this. It's stupid. Why would dillon even invite me to his brothers birthday party?
Am I too hard on Dillon? Maybe he has changed. Maybe he planned to kill me when I get there. I'm becoming paranoid. I will think about it later.

I ate the macaroni and cheese that I made.
I drifted in to deep thoughts about my dead parents. It's been hard these couple of years for me. I miss them like crazy every single day, and I wish that there was a way for me to bring they back just one last time. I do think about them every day, and as redundant as it sounds, it's true. There are so many questions that I have for them. I wish I would have spend more time with them, make memories, live, be happy. I wish I could change that day, I wish I could have knew more about them. I often wonder if they knew how much they meant to me, and I always hope that I'm making them proud. There are a lot of thing that we didn't get to experience together, and it still breaks my heart. I wish they were there for me through the tough times I wish y'all were still alive. I'll be graduating college soon, and I desperately wish that they could see me walk across that stage and get my diploma. They were one of the best reason that I worked so hard in school, and them will continue to push me to do the best that I can. Sometimes I think if they were alive at this moment, everything would change: good and bad. I wouldn't have been in this situation that I am in right now, I would be with a family that loves me, doesn't push me to be someone that I'm not, encourages me, I would've been happy.

I hope that wherever they are, they are resting easy and enjoying the "afterlife." I'll miss them until the day that I die, and I can't wait for the day that we are reunited together. They made such an impact on my life. I promise to work as hard as I can for them. I promise to try my best in school, work, and everything else in between. I will try as hard as I can, for the rest of my life. I know that they're proud of me and everything I accomplish will be because of their help and guidance that they gave me while they were still around, even though I was really young. Most of all I wish id still remembered the way they looked.

I barely know them. I only remember the bad things not the good things because I can't remember any.
Some times I blame myself. If I would have  done anything to change that day I would.

I didn't notice I was crying till I felt a hot steaming tear down my cheeks.

The door knob jingles,startling me and I quickly wipe my tears away.

The door open and I see my now mom.
She walked through the doors with the biggest brightest smile ever. I checked for any signs of fake-ness

Nope, none

I have never seen her smile before, this must be really good news. This is weird. But good because I need some Cheering up. Her smiles washes away when she sees my face.

"What's wrong?" She asks. She looks like she actually cares this time. But I'm not falling for that again. I shook my head and give her a slight smile.

"You look like you're in a good mood." Trying my best not to sound teasing.

After the words escape my lips, my father appear through the front door. He has the same smile. I hope it's not noticeable that I have been crying.