My Life As It Is

Chapter Thirty-six

The time passed fast; already a week of last-minute memories created. Ria, almost completely bedridden, has been attacked with a cough that has been bringing up blood in the last few days. the doctor told her to stay put and not move much, eat little, and be on a drip. 

It is heartbreaking watching her go through this, losing yet again more colour, and we have had to take precautions in wearing masks around her as not to give her anything else that could speed up the process of her death. 

"Hey? Storm, are you awake?" Tay asks as he nudges my arm from the other side of the large hospital bed in Rias house. 

"Mhmhm," I answer, thinking about the way ria fought with the caption of the whaling boat. 

"Do you ever think about death?" he says, and in the dull light I see Rias head move slightly beside me. 

"Yeah. all the time. do you think we go to heaven?" I question quietly, moving my cramped leg from underneath the sleeping cat.

"Kind of. I think that we might be reborn into another animal though, maybe our favourite or depending on what our nature was like, an animal who matched it." He pauses, sniffing. "I think my mum would have been a Tui, the way she sang was so happy, and she was so gorgeous and spirited, a puffed out chest and a knowing eye. I think Ria would be a panther, smart, cunning, slick, fast, knowing, sharp, beauty. you'd be a bear, mainly from your tenancy to be very territorial, fighting anything or anyone who is proving to be a threat to your den and family. but you are very warm and open to those you trust."

"You would be a wolf," I said in a low whisper, more to myself than to him. "Wiry and quick, a pack animal, and so protective of your pups. An Alpha Wolf. A perfect Panther. A momma Bear. Ain't we the best duo." I sniffed, tears filling my eyes as I think of all the things we could have done together, the three of us. "

"I love you guys." Rias croaky voice speaks up from beside me in the bed, as she moves her arm that doesn't have the drip in it over top off my shoulder, rubbing it lovingly. 

"We love you too Ria. Always and forever." I say, hearing the sounds of Tays breath slowing down and slowly hearing Rias breath slow down too, leaving me the only one awake to think about all the things I have done, will do, and can't ever do again.

I look over at my mum, and the new project she had just started. A book, about all of this. Everything that's happend, and everything that will hopefully happen. She hasn't told me the idea for the end, where she is thinking she might make it up.

"How big is it going to be?" I ask, being at home for the day for the first time in a week. Tay had opted to sit on the small couch cuddled up with Khol and I had gone with sitting with my knees tucked close to my chest with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders.

"Probably just around one hundred thousand words, but it depends on a lot. I'm almost defiantly going to be crying though most of this story, and the sad thing is that I can't guarantee a happy ending. Writing about loosing Ría will be the hardest." She says though teary eyes, looking at me with a small smile. "You three have all become my children," she pauses, realizing her mistake before chuckling. "Other than you, Storm. You've always been my girl anyway. But I can't imagine life without that energy ball."

She puts down her notebook and moves over to my seat, waving Tay over to us.

"You've been like a mum to be to Lucy, and I never knew I needed it, but in having a mother figure, I now see how I did need it. Thank you. You to have healed me, and healed yourselves together, and that's been an amazing process to watch. Ría has been a sister, her and Storm are ike nothing I have seen before, the strength they hold are is incredible.

"Storm, Lucy, and, well, if she was here at this moment, not asleep, in which we should be with her for when she wakes up and not ushed out by the doctor, I love you all, and I am so greatful we found each other."

I put my arms around them as a show of comfort, not being able to form words, only the tears falling from my eyes.

My dreams are filled with my family and friends all around me, each having their own time to give me a hug and a kiss. Ría, my dad, and Johnny were not in the group, leaving me confused and nervous.

A bright light flashes through my dream state and I am distinctly aware and unable to control my dream, only being a watcher from inside of my own body. The faces were all right, the words, the touch, and the sound were correct as in for realisticness.

As the light fades and I can see again, I see the two main dead people in my like and Ría.

Johnny comes up to me first, just the way I remember him. He doesn't speak, he just pulls me down to his level and gives me a tight hug, and I could feel his reluctantly to pull away.

Once he is not toughing me anymore, his bright happy smile shines once more before he starts fading, leaving me a teary mess inside my body.

Next the dad I used to love came to me, stopping before he was an arm length away. I could feel my control sleeping back in for a second and I take the reins, running into his arms. I missed this dad.

The control I had was suddenly ripped away from me as he stepped back and gave me a loving smile, fading into mist like my baby brother.

Caught up in memory, I didn't realize that Ría had just stepped closer to me, and had grabbed my hand. I looked at her though the eyes, and saw her absolute beauty and power shinning though. This was the ria before cancer. Healthy skin, long hair and bright eyes that stared at me with such love, regret, and pain that I felt my stomach turn.
A tear fell from her eye as she leaned in for what I knew somehow was her last hug to me, holding on to me for what seemed like hours.

I knew this was the last time I'd see her somewhat alive somewhere in my gut, but I still refused to believe it. It hurt, it hurt so much to have the last hug, even if it wasn't real. Then she pulled away, smiling with a tear filled face, before mouthing, "I love you," and fading away, her mist dancing though the dream state park we had been in for most of our memories.

I woke up with a pounding heart and a tear stained face. I knew what this meant.

She's gone.

My best friend is gone.

Ría's dead.