A New Way of Life (LGBT)

chapter 15

*NICO*

I had just settled into bed and resigned myself to another night of crying myself to sleep when my phone rings.  I roll over and sigh looking at the screen, it’s not a number I recognize.

“Hello?”

“N-Nico?”  I know that voice, but it couldn’t be could it?

“Serena, is that you?”

“Yes.”  Okay, now I’m getting worried.  Why on earth would she call me?

“Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you calling me?  I would have thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”  I hear her sigh on the other end of the phone.

“Nico I don’t hate you, I want you to know that.  I can’t explain how much I wanted to hate you or why I couldn’t, but I don’t.”

“Okay…”  I’m getting a bit confused.

“Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I think you should call Matthias.”

“What?  Is that why you called me?  You know, you should be glad that he’s around to help you out when you need him.”

“I am, trust me I am extremely grateful to what you’ve given up for me, but right now he needs you.”

“No Serena, I can’t.  I’m sorry, I just can’t call him.”

“At least to let him know that even though you aren’t around you still care, please?  I know you do.”

“I don’t think I should Serena.  It would only make everything more difficult if I do.  I think this is the best for everyone.”  I really believe what I’m saying.  Anyway, why is she of all people trying to convince me otherwise?

“Okay Nico, but I think you are making a mistake.  I think that ya’ll both need each other, at least for now.  I know Mattie loves me also and that I’m not sure what I’d do without him, and I’m sure he feels the same.  I also know though that he loves you also and feels the same about you that he does me.  At least right now and all we can do for him until he figures out where he belongs is and to be there for him.”

I’m almost crying now.  I know she has a valid point, but right now I just can’t be there.  She needs him more than I do at the moment and I understand that.  That’s why I’m giving him up for now, should the time come where she is fine without him as much then I’ll be here waiting for him.  Until that time though, I think it’s best to keep my distance.

“Please Serena, just don’t ask me to.  I’m sorry, but I think it best that I don’t talk to him.  It will only make this harder.”

“Okay, but Nico?”

“Hm?”

“One more thing, I’m going to be calling you every day from now on.  Just a little warning for you.  You need someone just as much as Mattie does right now, and I’m sure that you’ll want to make sure him and the boys are doing fine.”

“Okay, I’m assuming there’s no changing your mind on this?”

“Nope, so deal with it.  Goodbye hun and please take care of yourself will you?”  Hun?  Did she just call me hun?  I’m not sure what that’s all about.

“Of course, you don’t have to worry about me.”  I hear her mumble under her breath something that sounds suspiciously like she’s not so sure about that before she hangs up on me.

*MATTHIAS*

I sigh when I wake up the next morning.  Serena’s right, I need to get myself together.  If not for me, at least for her and the boys.  It’s what Nico would have wanted; man this is going to be hard.

“Hey Serena?”  I yell out for her.  I figure it would be good to get out of the house; at least it’s a start.

“Yes?”

“Do you have any plans this morning?  I figure I could take you and the boys out for breakfast after we pick them up from my mom’s.”

She walks into the living room where I currently am, with a huge grin on her face.

“Really?  You mean it?  Are you sure you are up for it?”

“Not really to be honest, but I figure it will help to get out of the house.”

“I believe you’re right, now come on let’s go get the boys.”

We pull up to my mom’s house to pick up the boys and Serena is still wearing that huge grin of hers.  I can’t get over how happy she is right now.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen her look so happy.  It just lights up her whole face.  She truly is beautiful.  I feel guilty thinking that.  I shouldn’t have to feel guilty about it considering we have kids together and another on the way.  It’s just that Nico still lingers in the back of my head even as I think how wonderful Serena truly is.

“Come on!”  She’s bouncing around.  At the moment her energy could almost match that of Nico’s on a good day.  There I go again, thinking of Nico.  The point of this outing was to put aside thoughts of Nico for now.  My mom answers the door looking fresh as always.

“Why hello!  I wasn’t expecting to see you so early this morning.  Come in! Matthias, it’s been too long since you’ve come over to see me.  You really should come over more often.”  She scolds me as she leads me to the living room.

“The boys are just getting up, would you like to eat breakfast with us?  I haven’t fixed anything yet, but it would be no problem for me to whip something up.”

“Actually Elizabeth, Mattie is planning on treating the boys and me to breakfast.”  Serena responds.

“Oh really?  So I take it you are feeling a lot better love?”  She directs that question to me.

“A bit.  I just figured the fresh air would help me clear my head for a bit.”

“Ah, okay.  You do know that you can come to me about anything at all, right Matthias?  Doesn’t matter what it’s about, or if you just need an extra person to talk to, I’m here for you.”

“Of course mother.”

“Good.  Ah, here are the boys now.”

“Daddy, daddy!”  This time they are both shouting and jumping up and down.  I knew Zainey had a little kid in him somewhere.

“Hey boys, how would you like to go out to eat with your mommy and me?”  At this Zainey’s eyes light up.

“Really?  The both of ya’ll?”  My mother cocks a brow at that but otherwise doesn’t acknowledge this seemingly odd question.

“Yes I do.  Now come on and gather all your stuff together so we can go.”

“Yay!”  I laugh at them.  It seems everyone is in such a good mood today.  It’s kind of catching.  After we manage to get all the boys stuff together, we head to the door.

“Well, good-bye Elizabeth thanks for watching the boys for us.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure of course.  Now why don’t you head on out so you can catch a good table.”

“Actually…”  I say as I think.  It really has been a while since I’ve seen my mom.

“Yes sweetie?”

“Would you like to come to breakfast with us?”  I look at Serena to see her nod in approval and give me another smile.

“I mean you don’t have anything fixed yet, and it has been a while since I’ve seen you.  I just thought it might be nice for you to come with us.”

“Yes of course dear!  Like I would tell you no.  Just let me go grab my purse.”  I actually smile at her response.  God, I love my mom.  After she located her purse we were off, and I decided with a little determination things would get better because I’d make them get better.