promise me forever- finnick odair x reader

no fish left in the sea

your body freezes. you feel finnick's grip tighten. you turn to her. 

"i-" you begin to say something. anything. she stops you with a stern look, her eyes piercing through you. she walks up, or more like runs up, to the stairs before you can say anything. you assume mireya says something like, "another child to be slaughtered! fun for us all!" and walks to pick a male tribute, but nothing comes through. your vision fails you. everything sounds garbled and distorted. your knees shake uncontrollably. your hands reach for something, anything, to keep you steady. then, everything goes black. 

"y/n? y/n?" finnick's voice pulls you into reality. her calloused, yet gentle, hands are holding your face. 

"f-finnick?" you murmur. "where..." 

"you passed out. i had the peace keepers bring you to me." you sit up.

"y- you were-"

"i know, i know." she interrupts. "it's okay." you begin to cry as you embrace her. why am i even crying? you think. i'm not the one going into the arena! but i will be the one to mourn her once her lifeless body is sent back to district four... 

"p-promise me you'll... you'll try to win?" you choke out between your sobs. 

"of course." she murmurs. "of course." she lets your hair down and runs her fingers through it. a peace keeper walks in. 

"time's up." he says stiffly. this is it. you think. the last time you'll ever see finnick. it feels like someone has just stabbed you straight through your heart. before you can stop yourself, you lean forward and kiss her. your lips softly graze hers, for only a second, before you pull away. finnick's flushed crimson. her mouth is open, about to say something, but nothing comes out. you walk out the door. finnick odair. the girl who never shuts up is speechless. in normal circumstances, you'd tease her about it or be proud of yourself for silencing her, but instead... you just feel empty. at least you had a chance. to do it at least once. you walk back into reality. into district four. soon, you'll be waving her goodbye. waving goodbye, separated by thick glass and metal. you can't stand it. you simply can't. you walk around in the ghost town that is district four. people are scattered in front of the train, desperate to give their condolences. instead, you walk home. you can't bear to see her, knowing in a few weeks she'll be dead. you collapse in your bedroom. sobbing. clinging onto anything and everything for support. she's gone. finnick is... gone. you hear a gentle knock on your door, to which you ignore. your mother will leave soon, and she does. 

"please... just... promise me you won't. you won't volunteer."

"i promise. i promise i won't volunteer."  

it comes back in flashes. her smile. her eyes. her soft voice. her strong hands. it burns through your mind, ingraining itself in it's own special little corner. seconds turn to minutes, minutes turn to hours, and before you know it, it's pitch black outside. you hear your mom turn on the television. the replay of the reaping. you manage to drag yourself out of your room. right in time for district four. you watch from the back of the living room. finnick starring blankly into the distance. you collapsing as she walks to the stage. albany vonheska, a frail seventeen year old, called as the male tribute. he has thin, black, and oily hair. you've seen him... once or twice. no one volunteers to take his place as he stumbles to the stage, tears streaming down his face. yet finnick remains calm. you see her mouth something as mireya announces the tributes. it's a message. you grab the remote out of your mother's hand, frantically rewinding.

"y/n! what are you-"

"shut up!" you yell at her. she takes the remote from you, knocking you to your feet. 

"you listen to me, little girl-" she begins. "you will not defy me. i don't care if your friend was selected, i-" before she can continue, you get up and rush out the door.  

"i know it's hard... but as soon as you're eighteen, you can live with my family."

"fin... it doesn't work that way. my mother... my father... they won't allow that. i don't want you to be hurt in the process."

"you don't understand, i don't care what happens to me! i need to make sure you're okay. promise me you'll be okay."

"i can't-"

"promise." 

"i promise." 

you dash towards the ocean, where you and finnick used to meet. you run into the water, its coldness splashing over you. the salty water falls in your face, burning your eyes and deepening your thirst. your body becomes heavy from your waterlogged clothing. you drop into the ocean, tears streaming down your face. 

"these games... they're stupid. they're not preventing anything."

"yeah right! fin, there's been years without an uprising. as far as the capital is concerned, they're doing perfect."

"that doesn't change the fact that it's stupid."

"finnick..." you whisper. your voice increasingly gets louder, until you're screaming her name. "finnick!"