My Brother's Girlfriend

Chapter Nineteen

I eased the door shut with caution, hoping I could sneak into my bedroom without waking anybody up. I turned around and the lights flicked on. I sighed and cupped my hands over my face. 

"You should be ashamed." My mother said to me.

"Trust me, I am." I noted the fact that my car was in the driveway and knew that Viper didn't bring it back and mentally thanked Savannah for getting it to me. I headed towards my room up the stairs and I heard my mother call my name. I waited. 

"I really think you should apologize to Viper."

"I planned on it, but somehow I don't think he wants to hear from me yet. I'll let him cool down first."

"Vivian," she said again but I continued to my room, "about that.." I didn't wait to hear the finish and I let her talk to herself or stop mid sentence. My room was as I had left it, and I found myself surprised. I half expected it to be trashed or vandalized. I flopped into bed and waited for sleep but it didn't come. Instead, I went to the bathroom and showered. Emptying my pockets and shorts of the sand they'd obtained from the beach. I washed my body harder than needed, trying to wash away in evidence of my sins and cheating. When I got out, it was nearly eight thirty a.m, and I dressed. I took the "Bridal to do List" from the kitchen filing cabinet and started making calls and reservations for my mother's wedding when Viper came into the kitchen. I gasped and the person on the phone froze mid sentence. 

"One minute please." I said to the person on the phone. "Viper!" He was headed towards the door and didn't turn around. I threw myself between him and the handle. I realized that his hands were filled with suitcases and bungee cords. 

"Please Vivian," he used my full name and I winced, "get out of the way."

"Where are you doing? I mean, what are you going?" my heart was pounding and I was praying he knew what I was talking about anyway.

"Please." He repeated, "Move out of the way."

"No," I said firmly, "tell me what's going on." He sighed and looked away from me out the window and gathered his things heading to the back door. "Viper! Please!" I screamed.

"Fine," he said at last, turning to face me, "I'm leaving."

"What? Where?" 

"I'm moving out."

"Where are you going to go?" I asked walking towards the back door. He yanked it open before I could stop him on that attempt too. He didn't answer me and I followed him into the front driveway replaying mother's 'about that' in my head. This was the about that, and she had consented already. I sighed and rubbed my face. He was scowling and strapping things to his bike. He kicked the clutch and I watched as his bike tore the grass and roared to life. "Viper!! Please!!" I yelled louder than I had previously. 

"What the fuck do you want Vivian?!" He turned on me so quickly with something fiery in his eyes. I watched him turn back to his bike. 

"An answer."

"Yeah, we all would." He turned on his heels and slid onto his bike. "See you at mom's wedding." He spun dirt and grass up near me as he sped away from me. I watched and felt a small piece of my heart detach from the whole and nearly cried out. My best friend since birth was over our friendship. My phone vibrated, and some strange part of me thought it might have been Viper already. I checked it and was disappointed to see Cecilia's name. I ignored it, taking Levi's advice and waited for her to leave a voice mail she never did. I stood in the driveway, staring at the road with an almost crushed feeling. I bit back the urge to destroy nearly everything and waited for my mother's undeniable 'I told you so'. 

"I'm sorry kiddo." I hadn't seen Blake pull in and was slightly surprised at his timing. 

"Yeah, me too." I said as I stood. I had exhausted all my options. I'd pushed Viper away, lost Cecilia, screwed it up with Bella, made my mother hate me, and Savannah was pitying herself for the cut off the squad because of me. 

"Don't be so hard on yourself kid." He patted my shoulder and I sighed. "Things will work themselves out."

"Easy for you to say. You moved here and fell in love with the dream girl and live the most luxurious life imaginable." 

"It wasn't always this easy." He sat down on the stone wall surrounding the driveway. 

"What do you mean?"

"I was a teenager again too, you know? It wasn't an easy transition for me either."

"You're right, but you didn't destroy your family and announce you were gay before the start of senior year."

"You're right," he copied my sentence, "but I didn't have a family and nobody to be in love with because I was thought of as another jock with money." 

"How did you make it better?"

"I applied to colleges far away and got out of there as soon as I could. I got a career that would keep the money coming, and moved away again after I finished college. Now I'm here." 

"Is here bad?" I asked in a hushed whisper. 

"No, here's where I've always wanted to be." He smiled at me gently and I thought of my father. He wouldn't have known what to say to me, and I would be alone- sobbing. 

"Really?" I asked a little louder.

"Yes, really." 

"Thanks Blake." I stayed still and he stood up. My mother opened her window and called down.

"Blake, is that you?" It was obvious that she was crying and I felt responsible. 

"Yeah, I'll be right up darling." He said and I heard her window slam. I interlocked my fingers and held the back of my neck.

"No problem, I care about you."

"I know, and I've taken that for granted. I'm sorry." 

"It's alright, I forgive you. Remember, I'm always here." He headed into the house and I realized for the first time what I had. I had a male role model, who cared about me.

"Blake?"

"Yes Vivian?"

"Call me Viva." He smiled and turned back in the house to tend to my mother's broken heart. I took my cellphone out and redialed some of the bridal places to confirm tables, caterers, flowers, and donations. It was one of a hundred steps I'd have to take to get my life back. I was willing.