Chapter Seventeen

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When I woke up, it was near five in the afternoon and I knew I'd slept most of my day away and I was glad because along with the day wasted, my hangover was gone. I rolled from bed and threw my hair into a better pony tail and descended the stairs cautiously. Drunk or sober, I was a klutz. When I reached the downstairs I was greeted with a note from my mother. 

"Since you weren't in any condition to go out to Sunday breakfast with us, we'll be doing a Sunday dinner instead. I'll see you at five thirty. -Mom. PS. you're not getting off that easy, we'll talk about it later." There was no 'I love you' or 'I'm sorry I'm neglectful'. I threw the note in the trash and glanced the clock. There was about twenty minutes until she'd be here to pick me up for a late and rescheduled Sunday Family Outing. I walked into the bathroom and showered slowly, letting the water sober me from the tired and the once was drunk. When I finished, I thanked my grand mother silently for the gift of lush curls and walked into my room to get dressed. I picked something light, and summery. Something that seemed a little more innocent little girl and a little less, 'Hey, I got drunk as fuck last night'. I dabbed makeup under my bags and my cheek bones then splashed a bit of perfume on. I wandered back into the kitchen to stuff a few grapes in my mouth, and take some head ache medicine before the outing. I knew I'd have a head ache as soon as we pulled out. As if on cue, a horn sounded from the driveway. I shielded my face from the headlights and walked to the back seat of the passenger side. My mother was in the front, Blake in the driver's side and Viper in the adjacent seat. I climbed into the car and waited for the argument to break out. 

"How was your night, Vivian?" My mother asked in the tone that suggested she'd be yelling if we were in private.

"It was-" I thought about whether being apologetic or being rebellious was the best decision and found myself deciding on a mix between the two, "terrible, but I learned a lot. I'm sorry mom." 

"You are?" She was taken back and I grinned. It wasn't every day that I was the winner of an argument with her and she was the one who was learning something. 

"Yeah, I didn't mean it. I won't do it again."

"HM," she smiled to Blake, "I'm pleased to hear it Vivian." She was still using my full name and I assumed she knew more that I had to fess up for.

"I'm sorry to you too Blake, you didn't deserve to be talked to like that." My mother turned in her seat to look at me with a shocked face. 

"What? I didn't hear about this. Blake, what's she talking about?" Blake shot me a glance in the rear view and I shrugged. He knew to wing it and smiled at her with his perfect teeth in the southern way. 

"Why darling, it's nothing to fret over. We had a little talk last night and I think it helped clear her head."

"It did." I added trying to help and failing. He shot me a silencing glance and I frowned out the window. 

"Don't worry, it's settled. I accept your apology Vivian." Viper was silent from the side of the car and I wondered what was wrong with him but didn't ask in the presence of company. When we pulled into the dinner I followed mom and Blake in with Viper on my heels. I felt the tension and waited for someone to cut it up it never came. The hostess seated us at a table appropriate for a family of four, but it felt as though we were strangers dinning together for the first time. Everybody was quiet as drinks and food was ordered, and even more quiet when there was nobody to ask for assistance. We sat and ate in silence and I looked from person to person. Each expression was about the same and Blake smiled half heatedly at me from across the table and I sighed. 

"Is there a reason we're acting like strangers instead of family?"

"It's been a rough few days," my mother sipped her lemon water, "we've really got to get this stuff figured out."

"I agree," I said and the boys nodded, "I hate this. It's awkward. Family is supposed to be the one place you can be yourself because there's something in common." I stuffed a few fries into my mouth and there were nods of agreement. 

"Vivian," mom said, "since you started the conversation, why don't you lead it?"

"Lead it where?"

"What do you want to share." I looked around the restaurant and sighed. 

"Well," I bit back the urge to not say it anymore and listened to the rafters creak for a minute, "I'm just now getting comfortable saying- I'm gay." My mother applauded gently and then Blake applauded with her. I smiled at them sending a mental thank you, and noticed Viper scowling. 

"Well," my mom spoke, "my book has been quite the stress, plus wedding planning and all. There's only one more month until then!" She smiled and me and Blake clapped. "I'm not going to lie, it's hard finding out that my only daughter will never get married traditionally." I bit back the stickiness rising in my throat and turned my attention to Blake.

"I'm happy to be a part of this family," he smiled, "I didn't grow up raising children, especially not twins and it's great to have the two of you now." I smiled but Viper looked away. He seemed stone cold today, and I wanted to touch him but knew better. His hair was undone, and he looked like a scrub. 

"Viper, sweetie," my mom began her usual gentle approach to Viper's sensitivity, "are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said in the cold voice I knew from dad's departure. I wondered if dad had made a visit to him as well. 

"What is it?" My mother asked. "You can tell me." 

"I'm not sure here is the right place, or time." He said still frozen. 

"Of course, your sister announced her-" she paused, "sexuality." 

"Alright," he stood up and knocked his chair over, "you want to know?"

"Yes, but Viper. No need to make such a scene." 

"Oh, I'll make a hell of a scene!" He yelled. 

"What's your problem?" I shot back to him as he started walking from the dinning area to the door. 

"My problem? My fucking problem is you."

"What about me?" I demanded.

"First, I get a girlfriend I really like and then you're a total bitch to her! You nearly scared her away, and then, she started coming around and we got close."

"That's a good thing!" I yelled.

"i thought so too until she called me yesterday feeling shameful and guilty because you and her had some fucking dirty secret behind my back!" 

"Viper." I cautioned. He was losing his grip on reality, and I was scared for the both of us. 

"You know what? Fuck you. I've lost everything that's ever meant something, and I finally find happiness in a person I picture my future with and you plan to take that too? You're such a selfish bitch!" He finished and yelled bitch loudly. He stormed from out the door and I felt hot tears sting my face. I glanced around the room looking for familiar faces and found a few. They knew I was gay now, they'd always know. I felt less confident in telling the world how I felt, and more scared now then ever. I looked back at my mother, who had a tight hand clasped over her mouth and then to Blake who was stroking her hand and comforting her. I felt the tears trickle as I burst from the doors and headed in the opposite direction as Viper. I didn't know where I was headed, but almost anywhere was better than home where he'd be. I felt like calling Cecilia, but knew it'd be inappropriate at his time so gave up on that idea too. I kept walking, and my foot burned. I sighed, and continued to storm off as the storm brewed above me. My tears mixed with rain as the pain surged from my heart to my mind to each limb of my body. 

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