Nothing Really Changes || g.d

[18]

✱Naima's p.o.v✱

I feel so bad, it's been over a week since my miscarriage and Elsea still doesn't know. No one knows actually, I haven't told a soul. I've worked as normal but the nights has been really tough to get through. I've had a hard time processing it, and Grayson is the only one I can talk to.

I don't have the guts to tell Ethan or anyone about it, even though I know that they'll be understanding and everything but something inside me is stopping me. I've been on the verge on telling them several times but choked on my words.
I've been at the hospital for a checkup too, but everything looked fine.

But otherwise I've been working like normal and just trying to enjoy life. Work has kept me rather busy and I'm thankful for that, my writing is the only thing keeping me sane right now. When I'm writing my songs that's the only thing I'm focused on and nothing else. And when I'm not writing I'm planning other things.

But today is my day off and today I've planned a little stroll with Cameron. I'll take Esther and she'll take her little cute dog. She has always wanted a dog and now she finally has one. I think it all started with her and Julian's breakup and she changed, a lot. I don't blame her, after being together for 15 years and then being ditched for no reason. Then she met her new boyfriend Liam and got better, luckily. But the biggest change for cam with the separation is that she has full custody for their daughter Clarissa. She was born while they were still going strong, but let's just say that Julian wasn't the best father. Cam now has to work her ass off while she's taking care of an 8 years old daughter, therefore we help her a lot with babysitting and stuff.

✱ ✱ ✱

"So where should we go today?" I ask as I'm standing on Cameron's porch, watching her put the leash on Bonzo.

"I just found out about this great park a few blocks away. It has a playground that would be perfect for Esther" she says and closes the door and we start walking.

"Perfect. Just show me the way" I say and she chuckles and Bonzo jumps happily around our feet. I love that dog, he's so sweet and innocent.

"While I have it on my mind, have you noticed anything different about Grayson this past week? I met him 3 days ago and he wasn't himself, not the goofy and stupid guy. He was just quiet and boring" oh gosh, did he take my miscarriage that hard? Oh no, he must have pulled it together just for me.

"Actually there's something you should know" I start but trail of pretty quickly. Should I tell her? She looks at me to continue and I breath in deeply. "The reason why Grayson may have acted weird is because I've had a miscarriage"

"What?" She immediately stops walking and turns to me.

"Lets not make a big deal out of it. It has happened, I would rather just forget it" I shrug even though I would rather just cry on my bed.

"Oh gosh honey. You can always talk to me you know that, right? Come here" she embraces me in a well needed hug and she strokes my head, just the way Grayson usually does.
We just stand there for a while, and I really needed this. A really good hug from a girlfriend for once.

"I would appreciate if you kept quiet about this, no one really knows. It's been really hard for Grayson and I to process and we've just tried to comfort each other. Grayson really wanted this fourth child" I sigh and we start walking again, Esther starts babbling from the stroller, meaning she's bored. "Mind if we sit down?"

"Not a word. And how do you feel about this?" She says as we're sitting down at a bench and she marks the word you.

I put Esther in my lap and gives her a toy to fiddle with before I answer.

"It has been hard, you know? It's just so many feelings to process but I can't shake the feeling off of me that I could've had a baby in my arms in 8 months. I...I didn't even know I was pregnant" I choke on my words and cam pats my back.

"I'm sorry. Do you wanna talk more about it or should we change the subject?"

"Lets change it. How's everything with you?" I ask her with a smile to show her I'm okay and she smiles back.

"I'm working my ass off as usual. Speaking of that, can you watch Clarissa next Monday? We're gonna have some trouble at home" she smiles shyly and I nod.

"Of course. We'll have a hectic weekend but on Monday we should be fine"

"Thank you so much. What would I do without you guys" she says with a relieved sigh.

"Come on, it's what you do for family. Shall we head towards the playground? The little one is getting impatient" I bounce Esther on my lap and she gurgles with a giggle.

"Sounds like a plan" she smiles as we start walking again "how's school going for Elsea?"

"I feel like it's getting worse to be honest. Every since she started working seriously with Benefit she has kinda forgot about school. I would prefer for her to not work right now, but I don't want to control her like that" I sigh and put the blanket over Esther's body while walking and Cameron nods.

"I get your concerns, but she's strong. Even though she hasn't exactly had time with school, she'll make it. She's not an idiot, she knows that school is important. Promise me that you won't get in the way of her dreams" she says and holds out her pinky that I gladly grab with my pinky.

"I Promise"

[~~~~~~~~~]
PEACE ✌🏼