Nothing Really Changes || g.d

[24]

✱Elsea's p.o.v ✱

Ezra left yesterday and all I can do now is keep on going. I don't really know what keep going means right now though, because Benefit just lost one of their stars. Which means that my job suddenly changes and to be honest, I think Benefit will let go of it and me. They just don't seem interested in me anymore, maybe that's for the best.

That is because I really need to focus on school for the moment, my grades are dropping like my trust for people. But I also love my job, so I'm having a little bit of a dilemma.
With Christmas right around the corner mom and dad is their most stressed selves, I can't really get through to them.

As I said, Christmas is only one week away and that also means I'm going to Sweden with Olivia really soon. I can't wait to get away for awhile and just live life. I think that's exactly what I need. She told me a few weeks ago that it'll be freezing cold though, but since I'm in jersey on a regular basis I'm used to it. It can't be colder than jersey, right?

Right now I'm laying in my bed watching my favorite series, even though I probably should study. Priorities, you know.
Just as I'm about to start my third episode for the afternoon, Esther comes "walking" through the door, which I suppose mom or someone opened.

"Hey baby" I say and she giggles, she's so damn cute. I set my computer aside and walk up to her, putting her on my hip and she plays with my hair. "You wanna go fly?"

Esther nods enthusiastically and I sling her up in the air, twirling around. She squeals and I laugh at her cute little smile. I love to see her smile with her small teeth, and I love the way she gurgles when she's happy. It's also gross, but mostly cute.

I lay down on my bed again with Esther against my breast, she's all curled up in a little ball. I put on the first children movie I can find on Netflix and she instantly focuses on the colorful figures at the screen.
Dad steps into the room, without any warning, after awhile of movie-watching.

"Elsea, a word please?" He says and nods towards the hallway outside my room. I shoot a glance over at Esther and she's already deep asleep. I quietly pause the movie and sneak out of the room, wonder what's on dad's mind?

"So, how are you holding up Els? You haven't been the same old happy Elsea that you usually are" He says and we sit down at the couch outside my room.

"I don't know, I'm just a bit nervous about the future. It scares me that I know nothing about what's gonna happen and how things are gonna happen" I admit and he looks at me confusedly.

"What does that mean? After all you still have your job with Benefit"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that dad. They haven't shown the same interest in me since they found out Ezra was leaving for another job. It's like they just don't care anymore" I sigh and dad looks shocked, and I don't blame him. This whole situation is weird.

"That sound idiotic. Who wouldn't want a young, beautiful and talented girl like you? I don't think you understand how awesome you are darling. They would be crazy to let go of you" I shoot him a thankful smile because I really don't know what to answer and he continues. "Alright, but now on a more personal level. How are you really holding up?"

"It's like something inside me is missing since Ezra left. And it's only been one day, hopefully it'll stop and not become worse. And just to make things better, I'm failing school and my teachers hate me" I try to smile but I think I fail miserably but dad instantly wraps me in one of his warm hugs, that always calms me down.

"In the future I want you to talk to me or mom about these things. We'll always listen" he says and holds me tighter.

"I know, but you've been hella stressed lately. I don't want to add to your burden with my problems" as the words leaves my mouth I instantly realize that's so the wrong way to say it. I'm basically saying that they're bad parents.

"We're here to help and guide you through life. I know that mom and I haven't been our normal selves lately, but we'll always make time for you" he locks his eyes to mine and I can easily see that he's disappointed. Maybe at my behavior or at himself, I don't know.

"Hey. Remember that you're still young, the universe is endless and somehow everything will be okay. You're awesome and I know you'll get out of this exceptionally, because that's what you always do. You're a smart kid Els, no matter how life turns out you'll take the world by storm. You're really something else"

Dad's really the best person to give peptalks. When he's talking to me like this, he's not the world famous Grayson Dolan, he's my dad and savior.

[~~~~~~~~]
PEACE ✌🏼