Everyone comes into our life either for a season or a reason. In the end I can't say Kendyl saved me or I saved Kendyl. I think we both saved each other. We taught one another how to save a life.
Started: July 14th, 2016
Completed: May 31st, 2018
Ba...
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If you're reading this, I'm probably gone now and I can't imagine what you're feeling in this moment.
I love you so much Harry. If the roles were reversed, I know I would be devastated. I'm sure you're angry with me as well for hiding my illness for so long.
I am sorry. I wish I could have done better but I was too selfish. I never knew what it felt like to find someone and be so completely scared of losing them. I was realistic that I wouldn't get to have that experience because I didn't have enough time.
When I first saw you, I had no idea that you would become my everything. My only everything ever, but you made it special enough that, I'm sure I'll remember it in each lifetime of mine.
Yes, to answer your question. I do believe in reincarnation.
I have to believe that somewhere down in the future, my soul will returns to yours. I pray that the next time we meet, we will get to have more time together.
That's what I regret the most Harry. I regret that I couldn't give you years instead of a few months. I wanted more time; believe me. I wanted a whole lifetime worth of time.
I envisioned what it would be like, if we would have a future that stretched out, further than a few months. We didn't get to live it out but I dreamed about it. For many nights. Till the end Harry. I always dreamed of the future we would have made, together.
I saw us living in a house. Having about two dogs and three kids. I saw us spending Christmas in London and Thanksgivings in New York. I saw us having many fights but also making up each time.
How sad is it that I found my soul mate yet I didn't get the chance to live a proper life with you. I'm so sorry Harry. I am so thankful for our small infinity but I know it's going to be hard for you.
You can do this, okay? Read this as many times as you need to. I love you from wherever I am and you need be okay with me not being there. Maybe not right now. It's okay to miss me but don't make it your life. Don't spend your whole life missing me.
I know I'm in no place to ask for anything but that's the last thing I'll ask you to do.
