Has no time

Chapter 18

                                  ~Derek's POV~

  Every once in a while that night comes back to me, it surprised me to see Aaron and tony still in town I didn't think they'd be back, me and Sophia were walking out of the movies when her voice interrupted my thoughts. 

"Are you okay?" She asked looking over at me with concern on her face

"Yeah" I said still looking forward

One of my weaknesses are making eye contact

"Derek no you're not"

"Okay" I said stopping in my tracks still not looking her in the eyes

"Being back here doesn't do me any good, you know that"

"I know but it's only for a few days, plus I'm sure you won't be out much since she's still here" she looking down at the floor

"Have you seen her??" I said finally being to look my cousin in the eyes

Wow good job Derek.

"Yeah she's changed ya know? But she's okay" she said slightly smiling

"Right" I said sounding calm looking down at the floor

"Cmon lets go home" she said putting her hand on my shoulder while trying to head out but I stopped in my tracks once again to face her again making eye contact.

After what happened, I lost confidence in making eye contact with everyone but that doesn't change the fact what I did was fucked up.

"Take me to the barn"

"What? Going back there will only bring more memories of what you did" she said in a low voice

"I know but I just need to go back and think as to why I did what I did"

"Well you did it cause you were drunk"

"No I was kind of sober but something else came across me"

"Derek plea-

"Sophia cmon" I said now gripping onto her shoulders

"Okay fine cmon" she said dragging me with her

                                      ~~~~~~~

   The car ride was silent, the night was bright but still spooky as always in Philadelphia, all buildings still lit up like always, I was looking out the window to the city when Sophia's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Why do you want to go back?" She asked still focusing on the road

I didn't say anything because the truth was I didn't know what came across me but it's something.

Something bad.

"Derek answer my question" she said once more in a demanding voice

"Because I told you I need to know Came across me"

"Derek I'm telling you is was the alcohol" she said looking at me with concern on her face

"You May be my cousin but I don't think you know me" I said

"Our dads are brothers" she said now raising her voice while stopping the car right in the field

"Well your uncle left my mother" I said getting out of the car shutting the door leaving her there to wait for me

I walked about 30 minutes again through the woods until I made it to the barn, that god damn barn making my heart beat like crazy out of fear and out of guiltiness.