It's Been A Long Time

Chapter 4: The Lone Survivor

On the Ground- Day 13

Clarke looked up into the hazy yellow sky. The world was an open wound barely able to keep from gushing, it would be a long time until it righted itself and she knew it, but she had to try. She gripped the radio in one hand, the satellite dish in the other, the rover sitting useless behind her. She had salvaged Monty's beat up, broken, rover from a ditch. Miraculously it survived, though it would be a long time before she could get it running again. But the rover came as a beacon of light in the dark times, among blankets, first aid kits, and two guns, it contained the satellite dish and radio. "Here goes nothing," She thought. Clarke aimed the satellite dish at the sulfur yellow sky and slowly clicked down on the radio.

"Hey Bellamy...if you're alive, it's me, Clarke. Guess what? I survived Praimfaya. I guess you were right after all, Nightblood really works. Heh, who knew?"

She paused for a moment, contemplating what to say next. Words couldn't begin to describe how she felt for him. Much more than friends, something she had barely felt with Finn, and something that invited painful longing with Lexa. God, Lexa, she missed her. Her death had become something she forced herself to accept. But now, Bellamy. She had to believe he was alive. She found that her heart was so fragile it might shatter any moment. The knowledge of Bellamy's death would kill her. She was grasping onto hope, the string she'd always lent her people, but now Bellamy supplied.

"I miss you...a lot. I miss everyone. But...it's been especially hard without you. I know that you may never get this. I know that you might...that you might...be gone,"

The words were hard for her to choke out. She swallowed and continued.

"But I won't believe that, I can't. You'll find a way to survive, we always have. Remember to think with your head and heart. And...just...survive. Please. I guess that's it for now. I'll radio again tomorrow, but..."

She struggled for the right words, but they dried in her throat. In the very pits of her stomach and her heart something began to clech. It tightened and left her gasping for breath. Grief, pain, loss, longing, hurt. It all bundled up in her rib cage, pulsing, threatening to get out. It was too much. The tears came hot and fast to the corners of her eyes. They poured and poured like waterfalls, never ending rivers of hot, liquid glass. Something wretched from the bundle of emotions wrapped up inside her.  And into the vast empty world, full of only molecules and her, Clarke screamed. The ragged, guttural projection bounced off every broken, rubbled, disintegrated object within the expanse of the world, all the way back to her. It reverberated in the silence, a hollow sound that, if possible, seemed to humanize the world just a bit. It softened only so, as if to say,  "I know. You have fought hard for so long. It's okay to be honest with yourself for a little while."  It felt odd to cry for so long, and she realized with a heavy heart, that it felt even worse without Bellamy here.

When her heart was emptied, the tears dried to her cheeks, and finally felt the drowsiness that comes when you cry, she picked up the radio once again. Through a choked throat and a wet veil of eyelashes she clicked down and spoke one more time.

"I'm counting down the days, Bellamy, everyone. 1812 days until I see you again. Don't give up on me, I haven't on you." She paused, unsure of how to conclude, and then,

"May we meet again."

Okay, so, sorry I haven't updated in, like, two weeks! SO SORRY! But here it is. It's short but I really wanted to put in Clarke's first radio call to Bellamy. Please comment and tell me some small things you want to see for Spacekru and Wonkru! I could use it! (Also check out my other writing snippets story, Overflowing With Words. It's just small things that come to mind that don't fit in to any of my stories) I CAN'T WAIT FOR SEASON 5!! (4/24/18- The Year of Bellarke!)

-RavenReyes0G

Ps- I don't know what happened but it didn't save half my story- weird- anyways here is the rest of it!