It's Been A Long Time

Chapter 5: Remembrance

In Space- 2 years and 4 days since Praimfaya

Bellamy gazed down at the light sulfur earth with a heavy heart and misty shine in his eyes, somewhere below him lay the dusty reamnents of thousands of people who all fell victim to Praimfaya. But, one very important someone. 

"Clarke."

 Her name was expelled with a breathless whisper aimed at the glass. He put his head against it and sighed, a single rivulet wound its way down his cheek. 

"Missing someone?" A woman's voice behind him asks. Raven.

"Hey, Raven, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just thinking. About the ground." 

"Me too..."

She pauses for a moment, as if considering what to say next, and Bellamy can feel the same heavy sadness she's feeling. 

"You know...Finn, Sinclair, Wick, Clarke...everyone. I can't even remember what it feels like to not be scared we're going to die."

"I know... I've been thinking a lot about our time on the ground. I'd never have thought it possible for ten months to turn me into a completely different person."

"Yeah." Raven laughs, recalling years gone by. "Last I checked, my first introduction to you was when you stole my radio." 

"Right..." "And killed 1,500 people while I was at it."  He thought, guilt weighing heavy on his conscience. 

"Bellamy..." Raven trailed off, recognizing the cloud of guilt in his eyes. "Their deaths were not your fault." 

"You didn't seem to think so at the time."

"No, I didn't." She paused again, as if trying to word it delicately, but resigning to let her usual brutal honesty kick in. 

" I blamed you for their deaths, I blamed Clarke for Finn's, I blamed ALIE for Sinclair's, but all along a lot of it was me. I didn't think to protect the radio, I didn't understand Clarke's sacrifice, without me, ALIE would never have been able to rise the way she did. "

"Raven..."

"Save it, Bellamy. You're not the only one dealing with guilt."

She looks him in the eye, fierce and unwavering. 

"So far you haven't drunk yourself into a stupor and you've managed to keep yourself from falling apart, most of which is due to your hope being pinned on Octavia." 

She pauses, as if to catch her breath or maybe her thoughts. 

"Which is actually pretty smart considering she's got the best chance of surviving, but..." 

He looked at her with new eyes. She'd changed a lot since they first landed on the ground. Not physically, though she looked aged, her hair greyer, her eyes filled with a knowing sadness. But she is not the reckless girl who came down in search of her boyfriend, or the broken one when ALIE took over her mind. Instead she is a warrior, forged from the toughest battles life threw at her. 

"Thanks, Raven."

She nods, with a small smile playing at her lips. 

"You know, I had my doubts about trapping seven people in a tin can for five years but so far it's been okay. Aside from the Murphy/Emori drama." 

Bellamy lets out a long, drawn out, sigh. 

"Do. Not. Remind me. I couldn't sleep for days with all their fighting. The tension in the mess hall was thicker than concrete."

Raven laughed, a relaxed breathy sound. 

"Yeah... At least they got back together... That could've been annoying."

She pauses for a moment, pressing her head against the glass and smiling.

"You know, I never considered myself a gossip, but here I am. Gossiping with Bellamy Blake. That is a first."

"Har. Har." 

He looks at her, and feels something inside him heal a little. 

"Thank you, Raven."

"You already said that."

"I know, I just mean," He gestured around with his hands, "For all of this. For getting us up here, for keeping us alive, for not losing your head, for being a damn good person to come to for advice. For leading, all of it."

She looked out at the smoldering earth below. 

"I'll never be Clarke."

The fragility in her voice surprised him, but he understood, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

"None of us ever will be."

She gives a brief smile and presses her forehead to the glass. 

"But, you've got to admit, I am pretty awesome."

"Aaaand, there is the Raven Reyes I've been looking for."

She laughs, and the sound echoes down the empty hallway. 

Okay, this an all dialogue/pretty boring chapter. Sorry! It is more of a filler chapter, sooo... But, I do have a plan in mind for the next Wonkru chapter! And we can officially say that Season 5 comes out next month! Here's hoping for the trailer to drop soon!

-RavenReyes0G