Project Elemental

Chapter 8

Nearly a month passed. The government (despite Tony's protests) had a hand in every course of action that was taken regarding the two ex Hydra super soldiers. They were to remain in their room for the majority of the time, and were heavily watched if they ever left. Visits had to be scheduled and overseen.

Bucky did not follow these rules very well. He often snuck in to see 002. The caretakers, guards, and other Avengers turned a blind eye to his activities. Speaking to her was doing him good, and there was a noticeable improvement in his temperament. She slowly accepted him, and he seemed to be helping her just as much. She was less reckless, less dangerous.

But her fear and pain were still clear as ice. She was distrusting, even of Bucky. Sometimes he would go to the monitor room at night, and he watch the screens. He could hear her calling out in her sleep, screaming bloody murder at the nightmares that came and went like wisps of smoke. Memories she couldn't grasp, of a fire long gone.

And Bucky found himself falling in love with her all over again.

—

She shakes Bucky gently awake. "Please Buck..."

Nightmares were plaguing her more and more frequently. Glimpses of her life serving Hydra were coming back to her in fragments that felt like shards of broken glass.

"What's wrong?" He murmurs, blinking up at her dark outline.

"I'm afraid. Could I-"

He's already sliding over, making room for her body against his. He doesn't question how she slipped past the medical staff, or even how she found his room. He simply accepts her. She lies uneasy and stiff for a time before Bucky slides his arm down her back and pulls her closer as he turns on his side. "What is it?"

"Why did they make me remember?"

"Who?" He asks, immediately alarmed. If Tony had anyone do anything he swears-

Curling against him she murmurs who she means. "Hydra. They let you forget. Why didn't they let me forget?"

"I thought you didn't remember anything."

"I remember a little. Flashes of emotion, scenes, sounds, smells. Words. I wish I didn't."

Something like irritation swells in his chest as he asks, "Wouldn't you rather remember? I would give anything to be able to remember."

She frowns against his neck. "No. Remembering is terrible and painful."

"You lose yourself if you can't-"

"I don't care," she says viciously. "I would rather forget it all." Her fingers curl into his shirt. "I would rather forget every goddamn thing."

He sits up and looks down at her. "Even me?"

Her blood goes cold. "That's not what I said-"

"It's what you meant."

She sits up as well and climbs out of bed, defense rising in her system. "It's not what I meant." She's stubborn about it, unyielding. "I want to forget the torture and the violence and the terror of every waking moment. I-" She stops, thinks for a second before whirling to look at him. "Is that why you pulled me here? Kidnapped me and forced me to-to remember-"

"You need to remember-"

"Why?" Her voice is cutting, "So I can have my "friend" back? A person I don't even know. So you aren't so alone and empty? I can't tell you who you are. I don't know you anymore either."

The silence that follows is deep and revealing. "Is that what you think of me?"

"I was fine." Maybe it's because of the dream but she feels sick and disgusted. "Why did you have to rip me away from that?"

"Because you were worse than dead!" He shouts, getting out of bed to pace the floor. "You were in the hands of Hydra, asleep until someone found you and used you as they pleased! Left you any longer and you would've died!"

Her mouth trembles, "So? What's so bad about that? You just don't want to feel alone."

"And you just want to die." He seethes. He glares at her until tears start to drip down her face.

His heart lurches when she looks him in the eyes and says, "I wish I'd never met you. I wish I had been cruel to you when we first met. I wish I would have fought against you. Then, maybe they would have killed me."

"No," Bucky whispers. "Please don't say that-"

"I hate you for dragging me here, making me relive the horror. Showing me around like I'm some fucking prize." She pulls open his bedroom door. "I wish you would stay the fuck away from me. You tell yourself you're taking me home but really you're trapping me here with you and that makes you no better than them."

Before he can respond, she's gone.